Why We Broke Up
by tyrantsandcreampuffs
Summary: Cagalli Yula Athha was surprised when she was approached by Lacus Clyne and Meyrin Hawke, Athrun Zala's ex-fiancée and ex-girlfriend, respectively. What did they want from her? Why did they want her to stop Athrun Zala from making the biggest mistake of his life? How did they expect her to do so when his wedding to Meer Campbell was a month away? / AU. #20
1. Reunion

**Why We Broke Up  
Chapter One: Reunion  
**by _tyrantsandcreampuffs_

* * *

Everyone knew who Lacus Clyne was. She was the daughter of one of the most politically powerful men in PLANT. She was a star ever since she was a child—if you'd look at a dictionary, her name would be synonymous with famous. She was easily the most popular girl in school—or anywhere, for that matter. She was…

Right in front of me.

"Hello!" It wasn't that I hated her voice, but I had always found it too high-pitched; but maybe that was because I was used to hearing my own gruff voice all the time. "Cagalli Yula Athha! What a coincidence for you to be in the same café as I!"

I cringed. Lacus was wearing a short light-blue wig as a disguise—still, while people didn't recognize her with the wig and the glasses, people stared because of the big burly man standing behind her.

"I would hardly call it a coincidence, Lacus," I tried to respond as politely as possible. We weren't the best of friends, but we were still on good terms, as far as I remember. I gestured to the area around me and to my attire and pointed out, "I work here."

"So I see!" she chirped, looking at the cakes beside the register before turning back to me. "Is your manager here?"

"Actually, I own this café."

"Ah, well it seems that my sources were wrong, then," she muttered, scrunching her perfectly shaped brows. I didn't bother to ask why in the world she had _sources_ about what I've been up to. She was always weird like that, saying things to herself. Yet despite that one quirk, people adored her. I could even recall my own half-brother taking a particular liking to her back when we were in university. "In any case, Cagalli," she said, perking up. "I missed you!"

When Lacus Clyne smiles, the whole world falls in love. I mean, my half-brother did—and I didn't think that this was the right moment to ask how they were working out. And there was one other guy I knew who definitely loved Lacus.

"I've missed you, too, Lacus," I answered back, giving her a small smile. "How long has it been since we last saw each other? Seven, eight months?"

But Lacus didn't even regard my question. Instead, she was looking down at her diamond-studded watch and tapping her right foot to a certain beat. I suddenly expected her to start singing or something—which she often did back then—but she didn't.

"She should be here by now," she said softly, glancing at the door before looking at me again. "I'm sorry to be taking up your time like this, Cagalli."

"No, not at all," I answered mindlessly, also gazing at the door in wonder. I was genuinely curious now as to what in the world Lacus was doing in my café, of all places, talking directly _to me_—and from the looks of it, it was very important because Lacus was ever patient, and for her to be impatient like this now meant that what she was doing actually mattered to her.

"Is there someone who can take over the register for you?" she asked, still smiling. "I hope I don't sound too demanding, but I'd really like to speak with you, if you wouldn't mind."

If there was one thing I learned from being Lacus's friend, it's that one doesn't simply say no to her.

"I suppose I do." I called out to one of my staff to take over and then placed my apron on a wall hook before going under the counter to get to the other side of the register. "But it's store policy that you can't loiter or chat here if you haven't ordered anything."

"Yes, of course!" Lacus said ecstatically, turning to the register once more. "I'd like to order one whole cheesecake, one whole strawberry shortcake, and one whole carrot cake. And a pot of earl grey tea, please." She turned to me. "Coffee?"

"Just water." I winced. Hadn't she ordered too much? Was she expecting ten more people to arrive?

"Then a pitcher of water, too!" She left her card on the counter and signaled for her escort to hold it for her afterwards. Then, she proceeded to drag me to the empty booth at the far end of the shop. "You know, for a second there, I thought you would say no to my invitation."

My smile was lopsided, I could tell; Lacus seemed distressed that I was obviously uncomfortable with her sudden appearance and impromptu invitation to sit and talk over three whole cakes.

"If it makes you feel better," she added, chirping. "We won't be alone! I invited another person to come and chat as well."

No, the thought of having to deal with another person didn't make me feel better. It didn't sit well with me at all. I still had no idea what was going on; why in the world Lacus Clyne was here and was actually talking to me.

"Is this," I couldn't help myself from asking. "About Kira?"

Lacus giggled—she _giggled_. I internally shuddered at the thought of my half-brother making the worlds-famous songstress _giddy_.

"No, dear heavens; but we're doing well, if you wanted to know."

I nodded; that seemed just about right. Kira had messaged me three months ago that he had bumped into Lacus again after all this years and that they had immediately hit it off. I thought they fit each other well because of their _generally _calm demeanor and when I was still in university, I had caught them looking at one another longingly—but of course, nothing could have happened between them back then.

Because back then Lacus Clyne was Athrun Zala's fiancée; and Athrun Zala was Kira Yamato's best friend.

Oh god. So if this wasn't about Kira, then could this be about—

The small bell chimed, signifying the entry of another person into my café. I was too afraid to look at who Lacus could have invited, afraid that my worst nightmare would be coming true. Lacus waved, her light-blue bob bouncing as she stood.

"Meyrin!"

I froze in my seat. Through my peripheral vision, I could see bright red hair making its way to this booth. And in just a few seconds, Meyrin was standing beside the table.

"Hello!" the redhead greeted back cheerily. "I'm sorry that I'm late. Have you guys been waiting long?"

"No, we were just catching up a bit," Lacus replied, looking at me before smiling at Meyrin. "Come, sit beside me."

"Thanks." Meyrin placed her bag on her lap—from the looks of it, she had just gotten out of work herself. It had been more than a year since I had last heard from Meyrin personally, but I had always wondered how Meyrin could pull off corporate wear so well. She always looked convincing in her pencil skirt and heels, but she still kept an air of demureness around her. "Did you order without me?"

"Yes, in fact I ordered three cakes," Lacus said, clapping her hands excitedly. Right on cue, one of my employees arrived before us with a tray full of cakes and Lacus's pot of tea. She looked at me curiously while I answered by shrugging my shoulders. She placed Lacus's orders on the table and laid down three small plates and forks as well. "They look delectable. You baked them yourself, didn't you, Cagalli?"

I nodded. I was far from comfortable—especially with these two women sitting in front of me. I had never _ever_ thought that I'd be in this situation, where the past would catch up to me like this.

"Aw, look at us!" Meyrin started, and I knew exactly what she was going to say. In my head, I kept chanting _please don't say it, please don't say it, please don't_—

"All three of Athrun's exes, together!"

* * *

**Note:** I'm trying to write in first person! *cringes at own effort* I'm so sorry, I'm terrible at it, I know—but that's exactly why I'm practicing here. I started this for the Asucaga Valentine's Day Parade 2015, but then this can't really stand as a one-shot, so woops. Hopefully I can continue this in between everything else, haha. The first chapter is short, but the next ones will hopefully have more content.

**Disclaimer:** The title is borrowed from the novel by Daniel Handler/Lemony Snicket, the man behind a portion of my childhood. The plot is loosely based on another story, My Imaginary Ex. The characters of Gundam Seed belong to Sunrise. My soul is owned by my cat. I have nothing to my name.


	2. Favors

**Why We Broke Up  
Chapter Two: Favors**  
by _tyrantsandcreampuffs_

* * *

I am in no sense Athrun's ex. Not his ex-girlfriend or ex-fiancee like Meyrin or Lacus. Not his ex-anything. But because of one small lie that _stupid _Athrun started more than a decade ago, I have to be sitting here with Lacus and Meyrin, reminiscing about our times when we were dating Athrun—which, for me, is non-existent.

"Athrun was always such a gentleman, wasn't he?" Meyrin asked us both; Lacus nodded eagerly in response. They turned to me, waiting for my own answer. I knew I would break their hearts if I had told them the truth about how Athrun was _far_ from a gentleman—at least, when he was with me.

"Yes, of course," I said, wincing. I haven't really talked to anyone about Athrun in months, let alone his _exes_. "That's the guy we _all_ fell in love with."

Across me, I could see Meyrin sigh—I had a feeling that she wasn't completely over Athrun, especially how they hadn't exactly parted on best terms. But as far as I knew, she never held a grudge against me or blamed me for her separation with Athrun. Though, she did admit to being jealous of me a month after she and Athrun had broken up.

Funnily enough, Lacus had said the same thing after she had called off her engagement with Athrun. She had thought that I _deserved _to know that it was a purely political agreement between their fathers—and since her father had died, she didn't have to put up with the pretense any longer. That didn't mean that she didn't care for Athrun; she had loved him dearly—and also almost in a brotherly way. But she still told me of how she would get upset with him every time he would talk about me.

"Too bad he was only ever really in love with you," Lacus teased, taking a sip from her tea with a coy look in her blue eyes. "He never quite looked at us the same way he did with you."

"Oh, tell me about it," Meyrin agreed. "Every time Cagalli would be in the same room, it would be like—like there was a fire alarm ringing in his head, you know?"

"He was like that since they met again in university. Actually, he couldn't stop talking about her in secondary school—and I was already on the cover of magazines then! Even when our engagement was announced, all he could think about was his first love."

"Also, every now and then we would get a blonde intern at the office and he'd just—he'd turn every time a blonde would pass by. Even when I was his girlfriend, I was still regularly competing for his attention!"

"He was _so_ in love with you, Cagalli," Lacus said encouragingly. "I'm sure he still is."

There were two problems with Lacus's statement. For one, Athrun was _never_ in love with me; two, Athrun will _never_ be. Because Athrun was very much in love with his current fiancée, Meer Campbell—who I personally think is a terrible person, but whatever; it's not like it really mattered to me whom Athrun wanted to spend the rest of his life with. That was his mistake to deal with. I had tried to tell him what I thought of his fiancée months ago, but he didn't listen and instead walked away. We hadn't spoken since.

So for the two of these women who _should _know Athrun well enough, for them to tell me that _Athrun was—and is—in love with me_ is the most hilarious joke I've heard in a while. So really, they couldn't blame me for bursting with laughter in my own café.

I could spot a few of my customers looking our way, but luckily Lacus's bodyguard would stare them down for us. It took me a while before I had finally calmed down, but when I came back to my senses, both Lacus and Meyrin were staring at me questioningly.

"It's funny because the thought of Athrun being in love with me—at any point in time—is funny," I deadpanned. "It really is."

"He was your boyfriend!"

"Meyrin," I began to explain calmly. By now I was so used to telling the story of Athrun's lie that it was almost like telling the truth. _Almost_. "We _dated_ when we were children—_literally_. Before university, the last time I talked to him was when we were both _eleven_. You can't possibly believe that we were actually in _love_ and that any kind of relationship more than friendship can be considered valid."

"That may be true, but he never stopped thinking of you," Lacus defended—as if she _actually_ knew what Athrun was thinking. "Believe us when we say that you're the one he loves. Not me, not Meyrin—and most definitely not that horrendous Meer!"

I stared at the originally pink-haired songstress. She wasn't one prone to outbursts of frustration, but that's exactly what she had. It felt like I was talking to a different person because of her disguise, but it was definitely Lacus who had just broken her calm aura for _me_.

If she only knew the truth, I wondered if she would still come to the same conclusion—both her and Meyrin, if I told them now of the reality of this mess, would they stay here? If they knew that Athrun had only told Lacus that he had a girlfriend—he had _me_—before their engagement so that he wouldn't look inexperienced, would they still tell me that he _actually_ had feelings for me?

* * *

It was raining when I bumped into him again after eight years.

I had just stepped out of the library after an hour of attempted self-studying and he was standing in front of the glass door, blocking my way. I almost didn't recognize him because his hair wasn't clipped like it used to be; but somehow he recognized me immediately—even when my hair wasn't as long as it was when we were younger. We were both different, inside and out—but still it felt nice to be reminded of our childhood days.

"Cagalli!" he yelped upon seeing me. Strange, that wasn't really the reaction I was looking for. "What are _you_ doing _here_?"

So much for feeling nice.

"What the hell do you mean?" I answered back, irked. "I study here! I've lived my whole life in Heliopolis! You don't get to ask me what _I'm_ doing _here_."

I was expecting him to argue back—but then again, the Athrun I knew was always unnervingly calm in almost every situation. Instead, he started to chuckle until he was bursting with laughter. It felt uncanny how he still sounded the same to me, despite his voice becoming deeper and lower than it was when we were children.

"You know," I told him, frowning. "I was expecting something else when I would think about how our reunion would go."

"You thought you'd see me again?" He looked genuinely surprised. "You _really_ believed that we would see each other again?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I answered defensively, holding my books closer to my chest. "When you left, you…"

_Kissed me._

Admittedly, I hadn't thought about Athrun in a while. But every now and then, I would remember the guy who was my first kiss. I remembered how it had confused me when I wasn't even a teenager—and how it confused me even more when I became a teenager and everyone started gushing about having boyfriends and making out. But then I couldn't think of the kiss as something mushy or romantic—if anything, it was _sad_.

We had been neighbors and playmates; his mother would watch over us when we were together. When his mother passed on, I saw how devastated he was. I had barely seen him in the week that followed; he had stopped attending school and from the window of my house, I saw that Athrun and his father were packing. They were moving back to their original home in December City in the Plants. And the day they left, he went to my house and hugged me; he had apologized for not talking to me, but I told him I understood that he was grieving. He then kissed me and ran back to his house—and I hadn't seen or heard from him until _now_.

"Ah," he laughed, reaching for the back of his head. "Well, that was…I just wanted you to remember me?"

"Yeah, I sure do remember you, Athrun Zala." I gave him a small smile. "I'm glad you remember me, too, after all these years."

He smiled back—and I hadn't noticed how handsome he had grown to be until then. Were his eyes always _this_ green? I felt my cheeks redden and I felt embarrassed that I was even thinking about Athrun this way when he was _just_ my old playmate.

I was about to say something else, but then he looked to his watch and cursed.

"She's going to be here any time now." I could barely hear him mutter with the rain pouring around us. He looked to me again and his face was painted with panic. "Cagalli, I'm so sorry, I know we'd just met again, but could you do me a favor?"

And thus began my awareness of the lie that would last more than a decade.

* * *

"You guys are so convinced that he had feelings for me." I shook my head. "If Athrun did, don't you think he'd have confessed by now? Or that he would have listened to me when I told him that Meer didn't suit him?"

Meyrin sat up. "Maybe that's like, his final test for you."

"And he'd subject himself to eternal torture of being bound to that horrible creature just to _test me_?"

"Well, when you put it _that _way…" Meyrin took a bite from her cake, not continuing her thought. I rolled my eyes—perhaps they thought me too cynical at the moment, but really, I was just trying to be rational. There was in no way Athrun would do that to himself if he actually _loved_ me—or himself, for that matter.

"Or perhaps his final test for himself," Lacus supplied. "Maybe he's testing himself, to see if his feelings for you are strong enough for him to leave Meer. You do know the conditions of their engagement, right?"

Of course I did. Meer had practically blackmailed him into agreeing to marry her. She was the niece of Gilbert Durandal, the man who owned Minerva, the company Athrun was working for. He had been working there since he graduated; that's where he and Meyrin had met, too. I knew he'd been working hard to climb up the ranks to get to the position he was in now, so it wasn't hard to guess what she could have used against him.

"I told him to get away as fast as possible, but he told me that I didn't have a say in his decisions," I explained. "He told me that I was a hypocrite and that I had to stop meddling, so I stopped talking to him."

Meyrin and Lacus looked to each other. I couldn't hear their whispers and so I decided to quell my nerves by grabbing a slice of cheesecake. I had baked two batches of each cake early this morning and I knew that this particular cake had an excess of sugar by a teaspoon. The strawberry shortcake hadn't been rolled as tightly as I would have liked, but the carrot cake was as perfect as I could make it.

"Are you single right now?" Meyrin asked, smiling uneasily. "When Athrun and I were together, you were also dating this guy—Yuna, was it? How did that end up?"

I winced. Yuna was such a sore subject—and I hadn't thought about him _at all_, not until Meyrin had to bring up his name again.

"He…" How could I tell them that Athrun had beat his sorry ass when he threatened to get his father to fire me? "Well, he's out of my life for sure this time."

"That's good." Meyrin nodded, agreeing. "Athrun used to rant all the time about how much of a terrible person Yuna was to you, and how you had deserved better. By better, he probably meant himself, though."

I frowned. I knew I had caused some strain in Athrun and Meyrin's relationship, though I hadn't meant to at all. I had told Meyrin that Athrun was nothing but a friend to me, but still, as polite as she was, I knew that she had some resentment towards me when they were together.

"Maybe that's why Athrun said you were being a hypocrite," Lacus commented. "Had he told you to break it off with this Yuna before?"

"Yeah," I admitted, though I wasn't exactly happy to. I knew for a fact that I _was_ a hypocrite. "Several times over the two years I dated Yuna."

"Ah."

Meyrin and Lacus looked to each other again. They were whispering again and finally seemed to agree on something before they faced me once more.

"Cagalli," Meyrin spoke up, looking fiercely determined somehow. "This may be a bit sudden for you—and we'd understand if you don't want to do it—but could we ask you for a favor?"

Somehow, this all seemed too familiar.

* * *

I was smiling, though I didn't know what for. A car had just pulled up in front of us and I started to become nervous. I still didn't know what _exactly_ Athrun wanted me to do, but he had just told me to follow his lead.

The rain had considerably waned, but light drizzle remained around the covered area of the waiting shed in front of the library. I looked at the car and the driver came out with a black umbrella and ran to the back seat. He opened the door and I mentally prepared myself for whatever Athrun had thrown at me. I was half-expecting it to be a scary creature, like a giant spider; or worse, Athrun's father. But instead of those two, a dainty figure exited the car.

I was standing face to face with Lacus Clyne, the obsession of both worlds—on earth and in space.

"Athrun! It's so good to see you again." She floated her way to Athrun and gave him a hug. "How have you been?"

She sounded exactly like she did on the radio—I wasn't her biggest fan, but it was hard not to recognize her. I briefly wondered why we weren't surrounded by the paparazzi, but then I remembered that our university was closed and one required an identification card to enter. Next, I wondered how in the world Athrun knew Lacus Clyne—and why the hell were they on _hugging _terms.

"I've been fine," Athrun responded. "It's only been a week, but university is a challenge. I've made a few friends here."

"That's good to hear."

"And how about you? How was your last tour on earth?"

"It went really well."

They were talking so casually and I had begun to wonder why Athrun made me stay instead of just leaving him to talk with Lacus Clyne. Had he intended to make me jealous? That he was such close friends with a star bigger than the sun?

After a while, Lacus Clyne finally picked up on my presence. She looked at me and blinked—her big blue eyes were just as bright as they were on the cover of magazines, too. She was so beautiful and I felt more insecure than I had when I was in high school with all of the terrible popular girls.

"Hello," she greeted politely, looking at Athrun unsurely before smiling at me. "You must be one of Athrun's friends."

"Yes," I replied. I could still see Athrun's panic behind his eyes. He had told me to follow his lead, but he wasn't exactly leading me to do anything. "I'm Cagalli."

"Cagalli!" she squealed and clapped her hands, which wasn't the reaction I had expected from someone like her. She began to look at me with an interest she didn't have earlier and was examining my attire and looks. "Cagalli Yula Athha, am I correct? Athrun has told me so much about you."

"He _has_?" I saw Athrun had begun to look elsewhere. Somehow, there was a sense of dread at the pit of my stomach—I didn't know where this conversation was leading and Athrun was being of no help. "I don't really see a reason why he would talk about me. We haven't seen each other in eight years, you see."

Lacus Clyne had a coy smile that I'd never imagine her angelic face could pull off, and it didn't help to calm my nerves.

"He talks about you all the time because you were his _first love_!" she declared. I felt that dread in my stomach start rising to my throat. "I suppose that's how it is with your first girlfriend."

Athrun was now returning my eye contact and he was smiling apologetically.

"That's exactly how it is," he laughed awkwardly, putting his arm over Lacus's shoulder. "But you needn't be jealous or anything, Lacus."

"I sure hope I needn't be," Lacus said, elbowing him. "My fiancé is a decent person."

Here were the facts of the conversation so far: one, Athrun had actually asked me to play along because he had told _Lacus Clyne _that I _was_ his _girlfriend_; and two, my friend _Athrun Zala_ was engaged to _Lacus Clyne_.

"Well, since you're here, Cagalli," Lacus prompted, flashing her million-dollar smile. "Would you like to join us for tea?"

How does one say _no_ to Lacus Clyne exactly?

* * *

**Note:** I wasn't supposed to update, but you guys begged me to! How could I say no to my beloved readers? I also hope that this longer chapter satisfies you. Thank you so much for reading, and if you enjoyed, please do leave me a review or message to let me know what you think. :)


	3. Listen

**Why We Broke Up**  
**Chapter Three: Listen**  
by _tyrantsandcreampuffs_

* * *

"I'm going to have to say no."

I could see their expression change from hopeful to crestfallen in a second. But it wasn't like I was saying no to spite them; no, Lacus and Meyrin were two of the most wonderful people I knew and they deserved all the happiness in the world, as far as I knew. It also wasn't because I wanted Athrun to suffer—while he did deserve it to some extent, I wouldn't wish eternal suffering on anyone.

"But why?" Meyrin sputtered on her tea. "Why won't you do this for Athrun?"

"One," I began to list my reasons. "It would be extremely rude for me to interrupt what is supposed to be a sacred ceremony. Two, Athrun had already told me to bugger off about his terrible love life. And three, the same reason you guys aren't the ones directly involved—I don't have a place in his life anymore."

"Oh, Cagalli, you know that's not true," Lacus said in an attempt to comfort me. "Athrun didn't see you for _years_ and yet you always had that special place in his heart. You were his first love, and as far as anyone with a good head on their shoulders can tell, you're still the one he loves."

Again, Meyrin nodded in agreement. I was tired of them blindly telling me that Athrun was completely in love with me. The two were stubborn; no matter how many times I would refute them, they'd still bring it up as an argument.

"Please stop saying he loves me," I asked as politely as I could. "It's making me uncomfortable."

"We're sorry, Cagalli, but we don't see any other way to stop Athrun from making the worst decision of his life!"

"He already decided when he asked Meer to marry him."

"Nothing's final until they sign a legal document saying they're married," Meyrin pointed out—and infuriatingly, at that. "You know that."

"That's just a technicality. When you ask a person to marry you, that means you want to spend the rest of your life with them."

"But there's always divorce—"

"So why don't you just wait for Athrun to decide to divorce Meer if you're so sure that he doesn't love her!" After my outburst, I couldn't hear anyone talking in the background. I noticed that my customers were, again, looking to our table, but I was too riled up to be embarrassed. And the two were being terribly out of line with their assumption of my relationship with Athrun. "I'm not going to involve myself in Athrun's affairs—especially with his decision on who he wants to be with. I didn't say or do anything when he was with Lacus or with you, so why would I do anything about Meer?"

I could see that Meyrin was flustered and was unsure what to say. There was a light blush on her cheeks and she was avoiding eye contact with me. Lacus, on the other hand, just looked _sad_. It was almost as though she _pitied _me, which was honestly the last thing I needed from Lacus Clyne.

"What happened, Cagalli?" Lacus spoke softly. "What happened between you and Athrun?"

The answer was short and simple—and heartbreaking: nothing.

* * *

"You didn't tell me that you were engaged to Lacus freaking Clyne!" I turned to him as soon as Lacus exited the quaint café with her many escorts. "I'm friends with the fiancé of the biggest celebrity on earth and in space!"

"You must be living under a rock, then," Athrun said with a chuckle. "Our engagement's been announced for a while now."

"College tends to make you forget about the outside world."

"Tell me about it," he laughed and I found it endearing. I remembered how he didn't laugh or smile in the last days we spent together as children; at least now he had reasons to be happy again. "What are you taking up, Cags?"

"One," I started, placing my cup of tea farther from my reach in case my gesticulations would cause me to hit the fragile ceramic. "No one calls me that anymore. I'm almost twenty; cut me some slack, Zala. Two, I'm taking up business administration—at Father's behest, of course."

"Of course," Athrun agreed. "Someone has to take over the ol' Athha business."

"Yeah, he wants me to be the president of the company one day." I found myself opening up to Athrun once more. He was practically a stranger now, but it was still so easy to talk to him about my personal matters. "Though, I'd rather start up my own small business. You know, something to call my baby."

"I've never known you to settle for less." Athrun's brows raised in surprise. "Cagalli Yula Athha _not_ ruling the world? The thought's preposterous." He offered a small smile with the most genuine look on his face—it was attractive, really; and I almost forgot that he was _engaged_. "Though I'm sure that you'll succeed in whatever you do. That's what I've always admired about you, Cags—sorry, force of habit." He grinned and corrected himself. "Cagalli, you've always been strong, determined and brave; it's what makes you so amazing."

I was surprised by his sudden compliment and I was at a loss for words. To hear that there was someone who believed in me; well, it was heartwarming. And to hear it from an old friend, it was even more uplifting.

"Are you expecting me to go into a speech about how I've always admired you, Athrun?" I said, more to cover up how flustered I was than to tease him. "Don't get your hopes up."

"I wasn't expecting you to. Besides, I've always known that you adored me."

"Yeah, which made you think that it was okay to tell your fiancée that you had dated me."

"Sorry," he winced. "Are you uncomfortable with it? I could clear it up with Lacus now if you wanted me to."

"No, no; it's fine," I offered with a grimace. "There's no harm in it, right? I mean, it's not like there's anyone else who can prove that it didn't happen."

"Exactly, it's our little secret." Athrun winked at me from across the table. My eyes drifted to the now empty space which Lacus had occupied a while ago, and I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that my old friend got together with _the_ Lacus Clyne. I took a mental note to remind myself to ask him later how exactly that came to be.

"So," I coughed in a lame attempt to change the topic. "What are you taking up here in Heliopolis?"

"I'm under a double degree program—mechanical and computer engineering," he answered. "Couldn't really pick which one to go to, and the university offered to accommodate me because of my stellar scores."

"Wow," I whistled, impressed. "Care to tutor me some time?"

"Our subjects aren't the same."

"I have to take up accounting and I'm _terrible_ with numbers," I complained to him. "If you won't tutor me, at least study with me—all the people in my course would rather party out."

"And it is exactly you to not conform to the stereotype, isn't it?" Athrun asked with an amused chortle. "But thank you, though, Cagalli, for agreeing to this."

When I met his eyes, there was something else I saw in them which made me uncertain and scared. Like I had just signed a deal with a devil and a hole would open up from the earth and suck me right into the depths of hell.

"Of course." I tore my gaze away and instead settled on looking at the now cold cup of tea Lacus had recommended for me. "That's what friends are for."

* * *

Athrun was practically my only friend during college. I got along well enough with the others in my course, but Athrun tended to monopolize most of my free time—which surprised me because he was supposed to be even busier than I was given he was taking up a double degree. Still, I didn't mind his company at all. The only thing that bothered me about the time we spent together was how Lacus could possibly take that her fiancé was with a girl all the time.

One day, I decided to point it out to him.

"It's not a big deal," Athrun scoffed, looking offended and at the same time upset. We were eating at the same café Lacus had brought us to before. Somehow, we made it an unsaid tradition to occupy the same booth and order the same round of cakes and coffee because the attendant would give us food before we even looked at the menu. "Really."

"Something tells me you're not being completely honest about your situation," I told him, suspicious and curious. "What's up with you and Lacus?"

"_Nothing_ is up. We're perfectly fine."

"You haven't even told me how you two came together."

"I already told you, Cagalli." He looked at me pointedly. "We were in the same school when I moved to Aprilius."

"And you charmed her off her feet?" I laughed at the notion of Athrun attempting to charm a girl. "Please, Athrun. You're as awkward as a duck with girls—and don't say that I don't know that because I've seen you interact with girls who like you."

"I'm not awkward with you."

"Because you know I don't like you," I told him, scrunching my face. "Not in that way, anyway. I feel like you pressure yourself into accomplishing a certain expectation when it comes to girls. That's why I don't believe that you could've easily made Lacus Clyne fall in love with you."

He sighed and shook his head at me. I watched as he took his cup of coffee and looked elsewhere, as if he was thinking up a response.

"Fine," he said after a while. "You just have to know all my secrets, don't you?"

"I wouldn't be your friend if I didn't have anything on you."

Athrun took in a deep breath. "Lacus and I aren't engaged by choice." Just those seven words were already hard to take in. I had actually thought about how they seemed too young to be committed in a relationship like they were. "It was an agreement between our fathers, you see. Siegel Clyne isn't the healthiest man in the world, so he wanted to make sure that there'd be someone to take care of Lacus in the case that he wouldn't overcome his disease."

I nodded understandingly. "But you love her, don't you?" His gaze somehow became more intense after my question and I couldn't help but fumble as I continued to speak. "I mean, you're always affectionate when she visits and such."

"I do love her," he answered. "But only as a sister. She's very close to me and I just wish her to be happy. Sometimes, she reminds me of my mother."

"Now that I think about it, Lacus is a bit like Aunt Lenore."

"That aside, I don't think this arrangement will last forever. I know she's in love with someone else anyway."

"What? Who?"

"I don't think you'd want to know."

"Why not? You know my curiosity's insatiable! And this is kind of big news to me—and I'm surprised that you're just so nonchalant about the fact that your fiancée is in love with someone else!"

"I told you, it's not something we both really want; so of course I'm fine with it."

"Why aren't you telling me _who_?"

"Does it really matter, Cagalli?" he asked me, looking exasperated. "If I told you that I was in love with someone who wasn't Lacus, would you be asking me who?"

"You bet I would!"

"You're impossible." He groaned. "You have to tell me one of your secrets in exchange for all of this information, deal?"

"Deal," I agreed, just anxious for some gossip—not that I had anyone to tell anyway. "Go. Who is it?"

"Your brother, Kira."

I was shocked—more than surprised, really; it was like I had been blindsided. Kira Yamato wasn't my brother. Technically, he was my _half_-brother. Our mother was Via Hibiki, one of the leading doctors in the field of genetics. Kira's father was her research partner, while mine was a businessman. Via had Kira first and then an affair with my father led to me. It was all too complicated. Via and her partner perished when their laboratory caught fire, and I went to my biological father's custody while Kira was adopted by Via's sister, our biological aunt.

Athrun was waving a hand in front of me and I snapped out of my reverie. I just couldn't believe that Kira—_my own half-brother_—had one-upped Athrun and stolen his fiancée.

"That's something," I finally responded after wrapping my head around the thought. "Isn't Kira your best friend? You're not mad?"

"When you see the two of them for yourself, you'd find it hard to be mad," Athrun answered calmly. "They're obviously meant to be together, but they won't do anything about it because of me."

"I can't wait to see Kira again, actually. It's been a while since I last heard from him."

"You can ask him about Lacus and he'll start sputtering like some fool."

I laughed, imagining Kira blushing and denying his crush on Lacus. Then, I reached out for Athrun's hand across the booth and focused on him. "It's quite nice of you, Athrun, to be so understanding. The two of them are so lucky to have a friend like you."

"Yeah," he looked down at our hands and it almost looked like he was blushing—or maybe it was the fluorescent light casting colored shadows on his cheek. Either way, I thought he found my gesture awkward and so I pulled away. He coughed once and spoke again. "So, you owe me a secret."

I blinked, racking my head for something to tell him. I didn't have any secrets like he did—what he had just told me was something taken out of the gossip column of a magazine. My life was uninteresting, but maybe that was because I wasn't engaged to a pop star.

"Oh," I finally found something to say. "Someone asked me out today."

* * *

It was my last year in university. Athrun was a year ahead of me and so had already graduated and was working in some company in the Plants. I didn't hear from him as often because he was busy working to impress the higher ups. I was also busy figuring out how to tell my father that I wanted to work for myself and not for our family business.

It was a hectic last semester and I was surprised when Athrun came to visit me in Heliopolis. We were back in our booth at the café when he broke the news that Lacus's father had passed away. To keep up with appearances, he had to be there for Lacus and wanted to invite me to the funeral because he knew Lacus needed all the support she could get—that, and Lacus didn't really have a lot of personal friends to begin with, given her profession.

My heart broke for Lacus. She and I were similar such that we were raised by our fathers our entire lives, and I couldn't imagine my father leaving me behind as hers did. Also, Kira was now with some girl named Flay whom he had met while studying in Copernicus—and I knew that Lacus had been upset with that, too.

Over the weekend, I left for Aprilius with Athrun. We stood together behind Lacus as the pod with Siegel's body was ejected into space, where it would detonate after reaching a safe distance away from the colony. It was morbid compared to how people based on earth put away the dead, but it was also beautiful, somehow, to be one with the stars.

After the ceremony, Athrun went to talk with Kira, who had his redhead girlfriend beside him. I didn't know anyone else there and I didn't get along too well with Flay, so I decided to sit on a bench instead of interacting with strangers.

I was surprised when Lacus had approached me. Even in black, she was still a vision—and I saw how Flay defensively pulled Kira closer when Lacus passed by the couple.

"Hello, Cagalli," she greeted, smiling somberly. There was no hint of her mourning on her immaculate face. "I appreciate that you came all the way from Heliopolis just for me."

"Of course I'd be here, Lacus," I answered, moving to the side of the bench so that she'd sit beside me. "You're my friend."

"You are mine, too." She sat at the empty space and looked up at the blue sky, which terribly mismatched the nature of funerals. "I don't know if Athrun's already told you, but I think you should know that we're not engaged by choice. It was an agreement between our fathers before I was of legal age, and now that I am old enough to take care of myself, I'm going to call it off."

I nodded understandingly. I wasn't going to argue with her, especially not on the day of her father's funeral. I followed her gaze and saw that she was looking at Kira and Flay, and I definitely did not miss the frown that marred her lips at the sight of the couple. I was going to comment about it, but she spoke before I could say anything.

"Maybe, Cagalli, you should listen to your heart when it calls for someone. Else it'll be too late."

"My heart's not really calling for anyone right now, Lacus."

"It is. It always is." The pink-haired songstress stood and smiled at me one last time before she went away to thank her other guests. "You just have to listen."

* * *

Meyrin was off with another tirade of rants, but I wasn't paying her any attention anymore. She could say whatever she wanted, but I wasn't going to be convinced to do the dirty work of their plan. I wasn't to be used as some pawn just so Athrun would be _happy_. As far as I knew, he was happy as is with his choices. And he had chosen to take me out of his life.

"Cagalli?" Meyrin was now gesticulating wildly in front of my face. "Cagalli! Please, at least think it over—"

"No," I stated firmly, shaking my head. "I think we can all agree that we've taken up enough of each other's time. I would tell you that I'd think about it, but then I'd be lying."

"Just hear us out on this—"

"I've heard enough." I looked at the two women across the booth. "My answer is no."

Meyrin was like an open book; it was so easy to see her distress and desperation. But what bothered me was Lacus's expression. She was still unnervingly calm—and _smiling_.

"It's been so many years, Cagalli," she spoke with a certain clarity. "You're still not listening."

* * *

**Note:** I hope everything's still cohesive. If there's an inconsistency, please PM me about it so I can revise or something. Also, I just finished my other story, _Darling So It Goes_, so if you haven't read that yet, please do! Finally, please leave a review to let me know your thoughts on the story so far. I'm still deciding if I should continue this or finish _Heavy Lies The Crown_ (which I've been putting off for a while now).


	4. Mess

**Why We Broke Up**  
**Chapter Four: Mess**  
by _tyrantsandcreampuffs_

* * *

Athrun was present during my graduation ceremony. He sat beside my father, and they seemed to get along well enough. I could see them chuckling, probably exchanging some light jokes. I knew my father always had a soft spot for Athrun and my father seemed to swell with pride, knowing that Athrun became successful. Kira was also in the audience with Flay. They were on the other side of Athrun; Kira being at the far-end. Kira was afraid of my father; although my father was willing to accept Kira like his own son, Kira was still pretty embarrassed about the whole thing.

When they called my name, I went up onstage and accepted my diploma; and then I took a deep breath, knowing that it was officially the beginning of adulthood for me. My father looked on proudly and Kira was applauding; Athrun was beaming at me and then held his camera up as I waved discreetly. The whole day was pretty surreal and before I knew it, I was out having a celebratory dinner with my family and Athrun.

In the end, I couldn't tell my father that I didn't want to work in the corporate sector. I was always taught to do what was expected of me, else my father would be disappointed. And my father had really wanted me to take over the company one day and so I accepted the position of floor manager. It was alright and wasn't too stressful because all I had to do was order people around; and the people who worked in our company were competent—otherwise, they wouldn't have made it through my father as he personally screens everyone who worked for him.

Although, I do believe there was one person he had overlooked.

Yuna Roma Seiran.

Cocky and arrogant, he was everything I hated in a human being. But I couldn't just get rid of him on a whim because he was the son of my father's closest friend, Unato Ema Seiran, the trusted CFO of Athha Corporation. After a year in the company, Yuna had magically convinced his father to assign him to the expansion development program—which required the two of us to stay in Aprilius for a year as we expanded the company in the Plants.

I hated his guts. Maybe that's why I ended up agreeing to date him.

* * *

"So how are you finding Aprilius so far?" Athrun asked me from across the table. We were at some classy restaurant where he knew the owner personally, someone named Heine or something. "The last time you were here was Siegel's funeral, right?"

"Yes. It's quite nice here, actually; but I miss Heliopolis already."

"It's been your home your entire life. Of course you'll miss it." He took a sip of wine before resuming. "It must be fun for you, though, being in charge of starting up your family business here in Plant."

"It's what Father always wanted," I said with a small smile. "If he's happy, then so am I."

"You still haven't told him?" Athrun was there when I accepted my father's offer in the company and he had looked disappointed when I did. "Cagalli—"

"I know, I know. But I think it was good for me, really. Experience is experience—and I've learned quite a good deal from my colleagues. More than I ever did from those in my course in college, if you ask me."

"I'm sure you've learned a lot from that dolt Yuna, too," he said with a snigger. "Speaking of that idiot, where is he now? Wasn't he assigned to the same project as you?"

I bit my lip. I wasn't sure how to tell Athrun—and I didn't know why I was afraid to tell him. Maybe it was because I knew he was going to judge me for my decision, but we were both adults and that was enough to warrant some respect for my choices.

"He's at the apartment which the company rented."

"And you? Where are you staying?"

"At the apartment which the company rented."

I counted in my head. _Three, two, one—_

"You mean to say that you two are _living together_?" His outburst was heard around us and I had to send apologetic looks to those at the surrounding tables. "You hate him! How can you stand living with him? How could you have agreed to these conditions? Uzumi wouldn't have allowed it—""

"Yuna's my boyfriend."

Again. _Three, two, one—_

But there was no loud reaction. Instead Athrun had a look of betrayal and slight disgust on his face. As though I had disappointed him yet again. I was wavering inside, but I remained sitting tall outside. Athrun was going to respect and accept my decision. I was going to make him.

"He's an asshole."

"He's good to me."

"You hate him."

"They say there's a fine line between hate and—"

"Don't give me that bullshit excuse." He was very angry with me and was visibly seething with it. "Why the hell are you dating him? You know he's no good."

"You haven't even personally met him!"

"I've heard enough from you to form a proper opinion of him, and now you're telling me that you've gone against your principles! First you lie to your father about what you want in life and now you're dating a guy you don't even like! What's next? You're going to tell me that you're also sleeping with that other guy in your office—"

I slapped him hard right there and then.

"_Fuck you_, Athrun."

The haze in his eyes dissipated and he looked as if he became aware of the words which flew out of his mouth just seconds ago. But the damage had been done and I felt his words turn into knives and dig deep through my skin and into my bones.

"Cagalli, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that—"

"But you did, Athrun." I shook my head and placed my napkin on the table. "When you decide that you're actually sorry, I expect Yuna to receive a bouquet as an apology."

I walked away and left Athrun at the table. That was our first fight in the history of our friendship and I felt angrier than I've ever been. Athrun was disappointed with me, sure, but I was also disappointed with him for not being as understanding as I hoped he would be.

The next week, Yuna asked me why in the world Athrun had given him flowers. That same afternoon, I sent Athrun a message telling him that we were okay.

Not a month later, he introduced me to Meyrin.

* * *

"What does she mean?" Meyrin blinked, confused, between me and Lacus. "How could Cagalli not have been listening?"

The two of us were locked in some stare-down. If there was a magazine in heaven, Lacus would be the face of every issue of Patron Saint Weekly—even if she maintained her contacts down in hell. Lacus was the nicest person I knew, but she was also one of the most manipulative. Being in the entertainment business for as long as she was, it wasn't really surprising that she knew what to say to pull strings and gut reactions.

"Lacus—" I started, but then she cut me off.

"You know that Athrun needs this intervention." Lacus held only conviction in her tone. "You know that Athrun does not have his heart in whatever arrangement he and Meer has."

I sighed. I knew those. I knew that Athrun somehow wedged himself between a rock and a hard place. I know that he had an almost heroic sense of duty and that he always stayed true to his word. So if he had promised himself to Meer, then that would take precedence over any other commitment.

"His wedding's a month away." The persistence of the two had worn me out and now I just wanted to sleep on the couch in the break room. In fact, it was quite tempting to up and leave them for the comforting silence the break room offered. "What would you have me do?"

"Just talk to him, Cagalli." Lacus was very encouraging and sincere as she spoke. "You're his voice of reason."

"He'll listen to what you say," Meyrin offered meekly. "After all, he listened to you when you told him to break up with me."

I stared at the redhead in surprise as the thought hit me that she _knew_. She knew of my conversation with Athrun that eventually led to their separation. I thought she didn't know and didn't blame me—but Meyrin always had more hidden than she let on.

"Meyrin, I didn't—"

"No, it's okay, Cagalli." Meyrin's smile reached her eyes and I felt something in my stomach twist. "I know you didn't exactly tell him to. But still. I never once blamed you. How could I hold someone liable for just being honest?"

Meyrin was still smiling and I couldn't believe just how kind she was being. All this time, she knew that I indirectly had a hand in their separation, but never once blamed me. She had been civil the entire time and now I felt like I owed her.

"I let Athrun leave because I thought he'd finally act on his feelings for _you_. I thought he'd finally let himself be happy." Meyrin was now looking at her tea cup and I could see her a single tear sliding down her cheek. "If I had known he'd instead be throwing his life away, then maybe I wouldn't have let him go."

* * *

Yuna and I weren't the most consistent couple. We would fight a lot, call it off; then he'd come back running after a few days. It wasn't exactly the healthiest arrangement, but it's what I'd been accustomed to after over a year of dating him.

Athrun pointed out that I became extremely defensive every time we broke up. He'd remind me that not every guy was 'an asshole like your stupid boyfriend'. But at least he tolerated Yuna for me when I brought him along—for which I was grateful.

We were in the middle of yet another break when Athrun called me over. For relationship decisions, we found ourselves consulting each other—why, we didn't really know; but it was always nice to have a friend to reassure you that your life wasn't falling apart. It was pretty serious when Athrun was the one asking to meet up because his relationship with Meyrin was definitely more mature and less problematic than mine with Yuna.

I sat on a chair by his kitchen counter while he prepared some lunch for the two of us.

"So," I started, rocking my chair back and forth. "Trouble in paradise?"

I saw Athrun roll his eyes. "Couldn't I have invited you because you're my closest friend here?"

"I'm not a substitute for Kira."

"See, you're getting defensive again." He was chopping up tomatoes and onions, and it amazed me just how skilled he was with a knife. "Why don't you just leave Yuna for good? He's so toxic."

"Hey, I'm here for you. You're the one who has a story to tell, not me."

"Can't we be here for each other?"

"You've lectured me enough on the merits of being rid of Yuna that it could probably be counted as a college course," I teased him and didn't miss the blush that stained his cheeks. He rolled his eyes yet again and threw in the chopped vegetables into a pot. As he stirred, the aroma of onions and garlic wafted into the air and my mouth watered at the scent of it. "Damn, that smells good. Remind me why I'm not marrying you again?"

Athrun turned off the stove and faced me. I looked over his shoulder, wondering why he left the sauce remain uncooked; and then he spoke.

"I don't love Meyrin."

I snapped my gaze from the pot to his eyes and blinked. They'd been dating for a year now and I thought that they were as serious as one could get in a relationship. Athrun's real feelings were like headline news to me.

"I don't love her. I can't bring myself to," he added. "She is sweet, loyal, kind and intelligent—she's practically the perfect girlfriend. It would be so easy to take the easy route and just _go for it_, but then I don't know if I'll be able to love her the way she deserves."

"Why?" was the only thing that came to mind. "Why don't you love her?"

He walked to the counter and placed his elbows on the table and his face in his hands. He seemed to be overthinking again and as much as I wanted to reach out and give him a pat on the shoulder, I knew he needed the space so that he'd clear his thoughts properly.

"I feel like I'm betraying myself," he said after a while. "It feels as though I'd be lying to myself and to her if I went on with our relationship. Meyrin deserves better."

I didn't want to explicitly tell him to leave Meyrin. I knew how devoted the younger girl was to Athrun and how she saw Athrun as some Prince Charming who had swept her off her feet—whatever prince you can find in the IT department of Minerva, at least. I honestly liked the two of them together because they looked straight out of a fairytale when they were together; Meyrin, the blushing princess, and Athrun, the ever-gallant prince. I had thought they were good together, really. But seeing Athrun as distressed as he was, I couldn't really think of any advice to tell him.

"I don't love Yuna," I instead admitted, hoping that it would make him feel better. "The heavens know how much I hate him. He's elitist and thinks everyone is beneath him. And he is so, so vain that I've caught him staring at his reflection in the mirror too many times to count. He's terrible and, as you said, toxic. I don't love him—and I will never be able to love someone like him."

"Then why are you still with him?"

"I honestly don't know."

"You deserve someone better."

"And you deserve to find someone you can love."

He nodded once, twice, and then turned back to the stove. He resumed cooking, adding water and salt into the pot and then mixing whatever concoction he was preparing.

Athrun still had his back to me when he spoke again. "I love you, you know that?"

I didn't like how sentimental he sounded; but as he was my oldest friend, I let it pass.

"I love you, too."

* * *

Athrun broke up with Meyrin the day after our conversation. It was a disaster in the office when Meyrin began accusing him of infidelity because there were rumors circulating in the office that Athrun had already started seeing someone named Meer Campbell while they were still together. Athrun remained calm and tried to handle the situation as maturely as he could—or so he told me.

I didn't know what was truly going on with him and Meer. I didn't even know who she was. She was somehow related to Gilbert Dullindal, who was, like my father, often listed in business magazines for excellent practices. But I knew nothing about her personally. Athrun wouldn't tell me anything because Meer didn't mean anything to him—or so he convinced me. But I didn't exactly have a reason to doubt him, so I believed him—which was more than I could say for Yuna. He had started to avoid me like the plague, which went terribly for him because we lived together. I didn't want to think even _worse_ of him, but he was acting very suspiciously.

After a tiring day at work, I told him I'd be meeting up with Athrun for dinner and will be coming back to the apartment a bit late. Usually he'd pick a fight because he would get insecure whenever I mentioned Athrun, but he had just told me to enjoy myself. He was being unreasonably _nice_, which was not very like him. After dinner, Athrun decided to walk me back home. That was when we walked into Yuna unceremoniously screwing his secretary, the pretty little brunette, in what was supposed to be our room, on what was supposed to be our bed.

My world had been turned upside down there and then and I felt nauseous. Athrun said that I had began throwing expletives around like candy on Halloween and that it was quite difficult to restrain me when I was trying to land a shiner on Yuna's smug face. But when Yuna told me not to tell his daddy about his infidelity else he'd find a way to ruin me, Athrun decided that he'd be the one to teach Yuna a lesson.

After leaving a bruised and bleeding Yuna on our apartment floor, Athrun grabbed my hand and led us out of the complex. I knew he was bringing me to his place; that was the only place we could go to anyway. It was only when he closed the door behind us that I began to break down. I wept freely as Athrun hugged me to his chest, and he didn't mind that I was ruining his dress shirt with my tears. He was the only one I could show such vulnerability to. Not even Kira had seen me cry as much as I did for my failed relationship with Yuna. Though I knew we were doomed from the beginning because he was so, so _wrong_ for me, there was still a part of me that wished he would become better; that _I_ could have made him better.

He was shushing me, cradling my neck and running his fingers through my hair—all this in an attempt to calm me down.

"You didn't love him, Cagalli," he reminded me, his voice soft and soothing in my ear. "Just let him go."

I knew in my head that I was supposed to agree, that Athrun had been right all this time about Yuna; but for some reason I was shaking my head.

"Cagalli—"

I didn't want to listen to him comforting me. I hated feeling _pitied_. My head was spinning and my heart was pounding, telling me to get off my pathetic ass and do _something_, anything. I pulled back and his hands slid down to the blades of my shoulder. I didn't know what was happening, but not a second later our lips were locked and my hands were running through his hair. It was probably a minute in when it dawned to me what I was doing. I shouldn't have been kissing Athrun. He was my closest friend. I had known him since we were children. I had just witnessed my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. And the excuses piled up in my head until I had gathered enough strength to push him away.

"I just want to go to bed," I found myself saying, but in actuality I was hardly drowsy. I walked back until I couldn't feel his skin on mine. I took slow steps until I reached the guest room, and I couldn't bring myself to look back at him in the living room. "Good night."

* * *

Meyrin wasn't the only one with regrets. If there was one night I could go back to, it would be _that_ night; and not to relive seeing Yuna awkwardly sprawled over that poor girl. Though the two of them did get justice—and by that, I mean my father had the two of them fired and Unato, out of shame, sent his heir down to earth—I never really thought much of Yuna after that; I hardly felt a sting when I would remember how he had cheated on me. What mattered that night was the choice I had made when I walked out on the opportunity of starting something with Athrun.

The problem was that it was so hard for me to imagine us being anything more than friends. I was so comfortable with him that I didn't want to risk our friendship for something as flimsy as a relationship—and since the incident with Yuna happened less than an hour before our kiss, I was already traumatized; I couldn't help but imagine Athrun betraying me the same way. Though that could have been because I always got incredibly defensive whenever Yuna and I would separate. Athrun, as I knew him, would never stoop as low as Yuna had.

And there also remained the nagging thought that Athrun didn't love me. He'd just recently separated from Meyrin and was probably facing some pressure at his office. That was it, that was why he had kissed me back. He was just relieving tension. He didn't love me. Not back then, and definitely not now.

After Yuna's exile, I also left the company. My father wasn't too pleased with my decision, but he understood that I needed the time to myself. He signed off the check that would allow me to take some amount from my trust fund and turn it into capital for the café I was going to start in the city. It felt like I was starting all over again, where I could finally be honest with myself.

I didn't see Athrun for a while after _that night_. Neither of us tried to reach out to each other, and I reasoned to myself that his distance was because he was busy with work again. He had mentioned that he was personally picked by Talia Gladys-Dullindal to be part of a team that would lead the company's latest scientific exploits, so I didn't want to bother him when he was supposedly doing important stuff for the betterment of mankind. Meanwhile, I was also making myself busy by signing off documents and watching over the renovation of the space I was renting for my new venture. Before I knew it, it was weeks before we saw each other again; and when we finally did, he had a black-haired beauty hanging off his arm.

"Hi," she introduced herself, her voice eerily reminding me of Lacus's. "I'm Meer Campbell, Athrun's fianceé."

* * *

**Note:** Hello! This update came really early because I realized I was going to be busy for the next two weeks, so hopefully this is enough for you guys. This chapter is the longest so far and reveals more about what happened to Athrun and Cagalli. I have two exams scheduled and I really need a reason to not be stressed out. Leave a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter! :)


	5. Fallout

**Why We Broke Up**  
**Chapter Five: Fallout**  
by _tyrantsandcreampuffs_

* * *

I knew that there were secrets that I've been keeping from Meyrin and Lacus; but if I had told them about what happened between Athrun and me before he was engaged with Meer, that would only make them more convinced that there was really _something_ there when there wasn't. I didn't want to encourage them any more than I have just by agreeing to talk to them. The two of them were clearly disillusioned and I had to put an end to it.

"There's nothing the two of you can say that will convince me to talk to Athrun," I told them resolutely. "Our friendship is practically over. We haven't talked in months and I'm not even planning on attending his wedding."

"At least you were invited at all," Meyrin scoffed. I didn't know that she wasn't invited, but when I thought about it, it wasn't like people went around inviting their exes to their weddings. "If you didn't matter to him, he wouldn't have invited you."

"You mattered to him, Meyrin," I consoled the younger girl. "But I don't think Meer likes you very much because you were his ex-girlfriend before they dated. And she knew you from the office, maybe?"

"I have met Miss Campbell once before," Lacus quipped before Meyrin could slip into sudden depression. "She claimed to be a fan of mine. She told me that ever since secondary school, people have been telling her that she and I had similar voices. At one point, she dyed her hair pink for some talent contest."

"I thought we were supposed to be the anti-Meer club," I commented dryly at Lacus's story. "It sounds to me like you're quite chummy with her."

"Oh, no, I don't like her," Lacus replied with a smile which didn't show her blatant irritation for Meer. "It was quite flattering at first, but then she wouldn't stop talking about how she always wins talent competitions and that she keeps getting offers for modelling contracts. It was obvious that she was desperate for recognition and validation, and in the end I just felt sad for her."

"Does that really justify how you've been calling her horrendous since the beginning of this meeting?"

"Oh, that's not what makes her a horrible person. Vain, shallow and self-centered—yes, but that's not what makes her in league with the devil."

This was the first time I've heard Lacus speak ill of someone else, and honestly I was intrigued. What did Meer _do_ that made Lacus have such strong feelings of opposition? Meyrin was nodding aggressively in agreement as well. And just the negative energy for Meer which they were displaying was making me curious enough to stay a bit longer.

I didn't exactly _hate_ Meer, but I didn't like her either. Lacus was right about her being vain, shallow and self-centered, yes, but I thought that it was just some mechanism to hide her insecurity. I thought that Meer was very human that way, and it definitely made it easier for me to not outright hate her when Athrun first introduced us to each other.

* * *

"Hi," I managed to squeak out as a reply. I tried to meet Athrun's eyes, but he was looking elsewhere. I didn't know what the hell was going on with Athrun and his all-too-sudden fiancée, but it looked like she was expecting me to say something else. "I'm Cagalli Yula Athha."

"Athha?" she inquired. "As in of Athha Corp?"

"Yeah. That Athha," I answered numbly. I couldn't grasp my mind around the thought that Athrun was engaged to someone else—and all so suddenly. It was only a few months back that he broke up with Meyrin and now he was to be wed to someone else. Athrun was still avoiding eye contact with me and all I wanted was demand answers from him. This was something _big_ and I knew that we hadn't maintained contact after _that_ night, but I thought we were at that level of friendship where we wouldn't hide such important decisions from one another. "Daughter of the Lion of Orb and all that."

"You didn't tell me you were friends with the daughter of the great Uzumi Nara Athha!" Meer was now talking to Athrun. I found her surprise weird; when I first Lacus and Meyrin, they had already known who I was before being properly introduced. It was like I was a secret friend Athrun had kept from Meer—and I didn't know why, but it hurt. Meer then turned to talk to me again. "My uncle only has good things to say about your father. During the recession of Heliopolis a decade ago, Athha Corp was the only one to survive the fiscal year without being anywhere close to bankruptcy—"

"Meer," Athrun interrupted. "I'm sure Cagalli here doesn't really want to hear you praise her father for doing things she already knows about."

"Right." She seemed to be a bit embarrassed and brought a hand up to her cheek. "Well, Cagalli—is it alright if I called you that?—I don't know why Athrun has never told me of you before, but I think we'll be great friends. You'll make a great addition to the rest of my bridesmaids and I can't wait to introduce them to you—"

"Wait, what?" It was a bit rude of me to cut her off, I admit, but I just kept getting blasted with new information about Athrun's _wedding_. "I'm a _bridesmaid_?"

Meer nudged Athrun and glared a bit. She whisper-hissed at her fiancé, "Have you not told her? Did you even invite her at all?"

"Yes, she's in the guest list, but I haven't given her an invitation."

"Well, give her one now!"

"I don't have one on me right now."

"Luckily for you, Athrun, I have an extra in my bag." Meer rolled her dark eyes and reached inside her bag for an envelope. I could see its white and lavender motif and already I was horrified. Having a physical invitation to hand out made it all too _real_. "Here you go, Cagalli."

Without hesitating, I ripped the envelope open—to which Meer frowned—and skimmed through the contents. Indeed, I was listed as one of the bridesmaids. And indeed, they were getting married a few months from now.

"What the hell?"

Meer didn't take to my reaction kindly and huffed, probably ready to retort something mean, but Athrun cut in before some bitch fight could occur.

"We hadn't seen or talked to each other in a while now, Meer," he tried to reason to his fiancée. "She's not exactly the most tactful person in the galaxy, so I don't blame her for being surprised at just finding out that we're engaged."

She nodded hesitantly, eyes shifting from Athrun to me. It was obvious that she felt awkward with the situation—specifically, with me. It seemed like she didn't know what to make of me, like I was some wildcard in her perfectly planned game. She was now sizing me up, determining how much of a threat I was. If she was trying to prove herself as the _better_ person, it wasn't working. I wasn't going to be intimidated by her.

"Why didn't I hear anything from Kira?" _Or from you_.

"He probably assumed that you already knew."

"Kira Yamato?" Meer cut in. "That guy with Lacus Clyne?"

"Yes," Athrun grumbled. I saw how Athrun was peeved when Meer spoke. It wasn't too obvious, but I _saw_. "Cagalli is actually his half-sister."

"Oh, really? Tell me more about it." I could see that she was stalling—which wasn't working well in her favor as we were actually in the middle of the sidewalk just across my café.

"Actually, Meer, I'd like to talk to Cagalli by myself. It's been a while since we last spoke to each other and I'm sure the two of us would like to catch up."

Meer brought her high nose even higher up and huffed again. "Where will you be, then?"

Athrun seemed to struggle with thinking up of somewhere to go. He looked so lost, as though he wasn't going to successfully let this slip by Meer. Luckily, I had just the solution.

"My café is actually right across us," I casually brought up. "I was on my way there."

"You own a café?" Meer had her threaded brow up as she questioned me. "You're the heiress to one of the most successful businesses in the galaxy and you're working in a _café_."

I nodded. I could see myself become lower in her opinion, but I didn't really care that she was something to Athrun, so I guess we were quite even. I looked to Athrun and I saw how he had questions swimming in his green pools; I had so many of my own, too.

"I'll just make sure Meer gets to a taxi," Athrun mumbled, placing his hand on Meer's back and guiding her away and to the stands. "You can go ahead. I'll follow."

When they were a good distance away, I crossed the street and greeted my employees who were there. They asked me who I was talking to, as they saw me outside, and I just said that it was personal business. I told them that if the man with blue hair came in, lead him to the booth at the corner of the shop. And that they prepare us two slices of cheesecake and coffee.

I sat down and my thoughts were racing back and forth in my mind. Athrun was _engaged_. In the few months that we hadn't spoken to each other, he had somehow gotten himself tangled up with this Meer Campbell person, who he had previously convinced me that she meant nothing significant to him—but now, they were going to be _wed_.

I felt a surge of emotions crash on me like a tidal wave: hurt, anger, _betrayal_. I felt like crying, but I didn't exactly have a reason to. Why would I feel like this in the first place? Maybe I was hurt that Athrun didn't talk to me for so long, especially when something this big was taking place in his life. But the other two weren't exactly justified—and that thought was enough to scare me.

* * *

Lacus had brought out her invitation. Hers, I noticed, was opened carefully with a proper letter opener unlike mine. Meyrin eyed the invitation enviously. Something told me that she had dreamt her name would be beside Athrun's one day. But then she slumped in her chair, in defeat; she had probably told herself again that she wasn't meant to be with Athrun.

"The wedding is happening in a month," Lacus stated. I knew that already. "And we have to act fast."

I quirked a brow at her. "And the two of you waited to talk to me until it was exactly a month away?"

"Not exactly," Meyrin answered for the two of them. "Lacus was touring down on earth and I had been swamped with work. I think it was Meer who talked to Miss Gladys and ordered my boss to make me busier these past few months. Which I didn't really mind, because it kept my mind off of everything."

"And you think that I can still achieve anything in one month?" I felt another headache coming and my hand reached for my temple to rub some off the stress away. "This is impossible. I'm busy managing my café and Athrun's busy doing groom duties or whatever."

Lacus brought out another piece of paper from her bag of endless wonders and handed it to me. "That's his schedule until the wedding day."

"Why do you have this?" I asked, gaping at all the details. It had exactly where and when Athrun should be at all times of the day leading to his wedding day: who he'd be having lunch with, when he'd have to accompany Meer to final food-tasting sessions, where he'd have to practice the ceremony, etcetera. I wasn't privy to such information. I knew Athrun had a major soft spot for Lacus, but I didn't think that meant he'd openly give her his schedule.

"Kira is his best man and is acting as Athrun's personal assistant for all the wedding details." Lacus had a certain shine in her eyes as she mentioned my half-brother. "And he is aware that I plan for an intervention."

"And what does he think of it?"

"Officially, he's neutral." Lacus had her thin lips in a frown. "As Athrun's best friend, he doesn't think Meer is suited for him and that he's succumbing to some sense of duty which no one is imposing on him." That seemed about right to me. "As your half-brother, he thinks you should do something about it."

I rolled my eyes. The last time I talked to Kira, he had asked me how I felt about the wedding. I told him I didn't feel anything—specifically, I didn't feel like going. He gave me a long sermon which somehow ended up in a debate about the merits of not putting sauce on kebab.

"And if I do agree," I said after perusing Athrun's schedule once more. "How do I go about it?"

"I have it all planned out, don't worry. I have a binder in my bag which have multiple scenarios playing out." She seemed to be giddy at the thought of me accepting their proposal. Meyrin, too, was smiling now. "Just say the word, Cagalli, and we'll really start."

The two of them looked so hopeful, eagerly awaiting for my most favorable response. Even if I did agree to helping, I wouldn't know what to do. Lacus said she had a plan—multiple ones, but surely none of them didn't take into account just how terrible my last fight with Athrun was.

* * *

I was still looking at my invitation when Athrun went up to the booth. I didn't notice him at first because my eyes were locked on to the print of his name beside _hers_ and I felt myself sink further into the chair.

"Cagalli," he called out. My eyes snapped up, all watery, but I didn't know why. "I'm getting married to Meer."

"I know, I have the invitation in my hands." I could hear myself be angry. I tried to contain the bitterness in my tone, but I really was hurt. "When the hell did this happen?"

"After I broke up with Meyrin, somehow she heard that I was single again and became even more aggressive in pursuing me. She kept trying to make me agree to go out with her. One day I did and that led to more dates and now I'm getting married to her."

"After you broke up with Meyrin I had asked you about Meer and you said that she meant nothing to you."

"She meant nothing to me _then_. But after I really got to know her, I found that she wasn't as bad as I had thought."

"That was only a few months ago."

"What's your point?"

"I'm saying that you can't possibly know her well enough to decide to marry her! How long have you known her for?"

"Does that matter?"

"It does!"

"Why? I've known you the longest time and that doesn't mean we're meant to be, does it? That doesn't matter to you, right? So why should it matter to me?"

I shook my head. "You don't really love Meer."

Athrun slammed his fist on the table. "You don't get to say that."

"Why? Because it's true?"

"Because you don't know anything about Meer."

"Oh, don't give me that. She's the niece of your boss and I bet you're sucking it up just to get somewhere—"

"Cagalli, I'm warning you—"

"—because you've been trying to get there your entire life but no one would take notice of how brilliant you are and you finally saw the opportunity when Meer was interested in you—"

"Shut up!" Athrun finally cracked. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about! You don't get to presume you know anything about my relationship with Meer when you've been voluntarily absent from my life these past months!"

"Me? I was the one who was absent? You're the one who didn't even attempt to contact me since—"

"Why does it always have to be me who's always trying?" he shouted, slamming his hands on the wooden table. The café resonated his rage. Luckily the last customer had exited and it was only my employees inside. Noting his volume, he lowered his voice and said, "I'm tired, Cagalli. Of this. Of _you_."

"So what now, Athrun?" I asked him, breathing heavily from our not-so-little row. "Are you uninviting me from your wedding? I'm not going to pretend that I approve of your relationship with Meer."

"I wasn't asking for your approval," he answered back. "And whether you go or not is your prerogative. The food's free, so maybe that's something for you."

"Are you fucking with me?" He was riling me up, pushing me to get a reaction, I know—and as much as I tried to remain dignified in the presence of my own employees, I just couldn't help being livid with how he was acting. "I'm not going to be that _bitch_'s bridesmaid."

"Don't call my fiancée a bitch—not in front of my face or behind my back." I saw his threat between his hissed words; this was the first time Athrun's ever been hostile with me. "She was nothing but civil with you as we talked."

"Oh, right, like I didn't miss how she looked down upon my choice of cargo pants and boots? Or when she found out I was actually working in my café instead of living off my trust fund?"

"You don't know her!"

"You judged Yuna the same way when I told you I was _dating_ him! How did you expect me to react when I found out you were engaged?"

"I apologized, didn't I? And I tolerated him _for you_." He didn't answer my questions about what his expectations were of me. "Meer is _nothing_ like Yuna."

"That's not the point, Athrun!" I argued back. "I was just _dating_ Yuna back then. You, on the other hand, are committing the _rest of your life_ to someone you haven't even known for that long."

Athrun couldn't take any more of our conversation and finally stood up to leave. He was glaring at me with his ever incredible eyes and I was thrown off by the antagonism he was showing me. The Athrun I knew would never act this way—especially not to me. Not that I was some exception, but because I knew our friendship meant something to him.

"When you finally realize how monumentally wrong you are, I expect Meer to receive a bouquet as an apology," he said, mimicking our past talk about Yuna.

Meer never got any flowers from me.

And I hadn't spoken to Athrun since then.

* * *

"What she needs is incentive." Meyrin prodded Lacus. "Cagalli won't help us if she doesn't know."

"I need her to agree without knowing," Lacus told Meyrin, trying to be discreet. I could hear them clearly from across the table so they weren't too successful with keeping me out of their conversation. "She needs to do this for Athrun because she believes she's the one for him and not Meer!"

"She doesn't believe us and we've been telling her the whole afternoon!" I looked to my watch and indeed hours had already passed by. I didn't notice the time go by that quickly. "Cagalli is so blind to her feelings for Athrun. She _needs_ to know."

I coughed. "I can hear you, you know?"

They turned to look at me for a second before resuming their dialogue in a much lower volume. I couldn't hear them anymore but I could see them take turns debating about telling me something.

"Just tell me," I groaned, not wanting the two of them to drag this out further. "If you can change my mind with whatever ace you have up your sleeve, then I'll help. If not, then I'm going back to my register and forget about this whole conversation."

Lacus and Meyrin exchanged looks once more before Lacus finally gave in to Meer's cheeky glare.

"Okay," the songstress acquiesced, sending a frown at Meyrin's direction. "We have reason to believe that…"

"That?"

"Ugh, this is so _difficult_."

"Just tell me already!"

"That Meer…well, she—"

"Meer slept with someone else," Meyrin finished the sentence for Lacus. "Heine Westenfluss. You've probably met him as he's Athrun's _friend_."

I didn't even think about it. I understood all too well the heavy feeling of betrayal of being cheated on. I knew how it had made me rethink my entire relationship with Yuna and how it made me feel like I was the one who had done something wrong when I shouldn't have blamed myself for anything. No one deserved to feel that way. Not even Athrun.

"I'll help you."

* * *

**Note:** I should be studying for my engineering exam tomorrow but instead I'm uploading this because of you, my beloved readers! Your lovely messages inspire me to write and upload faster. I think this story has the most chapters uploaded in such a short span compared to my other stories. So I hope you're enjoying! Drop me a review or a message and let me know what you think. :)


	6. Now

**Why We Broke Up**  
**Chapter 6: Now**  
by _tyrantsandcreampuffs_

* * *

I didn't completely know what I had gotten myself into but all I knew was that I had less than four weeks to change Athrun's mind. I still didn't believe that he loved me—everything that's ever happened between us seemed to be too _platonic_ for such a thought. I guess the two times we kissed could be an exception, but there was just no romantic precursor for our actions at those instances. He was just a friend who was leaving; and I was too broken to know what I was doing.

Like Athrun, I also had a strict schedule now which Lacus had meticulously organized. The binder in my bag was proof that she had already planned everything and that I was just a pawn in the long run. It was a little bit degrading that I had to slave away to correct Athrun's terrible mistake, but Lacus was right that neither she nor Meyrin could pull it off. Next to Kira, I was his closest friend.

The first thing on my agenda was to find a way back into Athrun's life. And as much as I dreaded having to be the one to apologize first, it was something that had to be done.

That was how I found myself standing in front of his apartment door the day after my talk with Lacus and Meyrin. I had a giant bouquet—which Lacus had gratuitously paid for—and felt stupid as I just stood there, waiting for him to open up and let me in when I haven't bothered to reach out for the doorbell.

I swallowed my nerves and reached up for the buzzer when Athrun opened the door. He was in rather casual clothes and had a bag hanging off one shoulder. That, and he looked rather surprised to see me.

"Cagalli? What are you doing here?"

Instead of formulating a proper response, I promptly shoved the arrangement of flowers in his face.

"For Meer," I said, cursing Lacus and Meyrin inside. He took the bouquet and a few seconds to register why exactly I had brought him flowers. It stung a bit that he had forgotten the last thing he said to me, but I shrugged that thought away before it turned me bitter. "May I come in?"

Athrun blinked his green eyes. It seemed like it still hadn't registered to him that I was actually standing there in front of him. It was so typical of Athrun to be so_ awkward_. I realized then that I _missed_ him. Specifically, I missed our friendship, how I could say anything to him. And it occurred to me, too, that our candor was why we always fought. We were always honest to each other and now I was trying to make amends with him—but with a motive. Somehow, it felt wrong.

But it had to be done.

"Athrun?" I flashed him a smile and waved my hands in front of him until he finally snapped out of his reverie.

"Ah, yes," he finally spoke again, shaking his head; his actions contradicted his words. "I was going out, but I guess I'll set these aside first."

I nodded and followed him in. In the few months since I last saw Athrun, not much about him was different. His hair was still kind of long and reached past his ears. He still carried himself with a proud gait, something his mother always reminded him to do. But then he'd also changed somehow. There were rings under his eyes, most likely from the stress of planning his wedding. And overall he had this dark aura about him—I didn't believe in that, but there was still something terribly off with Athrun that it almost made me feel guilty for not intervening sooner. Almost.

Athrun left for another room while I stayed in the living room. I didn't notice that I was staring at the spot where we had kissed until I heard his footsteps again. I scrambled to sit down on the couch and saw that he had brought back a vase—for Meer's flowers.

"I didn't think you'd actually do it," he remarked, sniggering a bit as he placed the flowers in the vase. "Seeing as you're so opposed to my wedding."

"I still am," I told him honestly with Meyrin's and Lacus's voices at the back of my mind. "But yesterday I realized that your wedding's just a month away."

"Well, you have to be there, don't you?" he gave a grim smile, accentuating his fatigue even more. "Big day and all."

"Of course. You're my closest friend, Athrun," I added, just as Lacus instructed me to sell our friendship to appeal to him. I needed him to trust me again so that he wouldn't believe I had an agenda when I would tell him the truth about Meer. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

First, he blinked—and I was almost scared that he had caught on to my intentions—but then he smiled, looking grateful. That scared me even more, that Athrun actually _wanted_ me to be there.

He didn't speak again and the air around us became filled with awkwardness. Back then, we'd always have something to say to each other, but now it was so _empty_. I wanted to tell him about everything going on in my life ever since we last spoke, but I didn't feel like I had the right to. Not anymore. For the first time in the history of our friendship, I really felt that he _belonged_ to someone else. I didn't feel this way in college with Lacus or when he started dating Meyrin at work. It was terrifying to think that I was actually losing Athrun, and it gave me another drive in accomplishing my mission.

"So," I coughed. "Where were you headed?"

"Hm?"

"You said you were going out. Where to?"

"Oh," he laughed, putting his hand at the back of his nape. It was this boyish charm he exuded when he wasn't being serious with work that I missed the most. And it felt like I was back in the café booth near our university, catching up after Lacus had left; it felt like I was only getting to know him again after so long. "To the gym."

Athrun never went to the gym before. He did maintain his physique through occasionally playing sports, but he didn't have an intensive workout routine. But now that he mentioned it, I noticed how his arms were clearly well-defined through his shirt. I couldn't help but blush, thinking about Athrun _that_ way—but again, I shrugged those thoughts off before I could consider what Meyrin and Lacus had been telling me the whole night.

"It relaxes me a bit," he explained. "You could imagine how hectic it's been."

"Yeah," I nodded understandingly. Going to the gym wasn't anywhere in his already tight schedule, but he made time for it just to get away from wedding stuff. "Preparations must have you all frazzled up and such. I actually…I wanted to ask if you still need me to help." He looked at me confusedly and I could feel my cheeks heat up again. This was all so embarrassing and I could feel my pride draining away, but it _had_ to be done. "I was initially a bridesmaid, but I'm sure you've found a replacement by now—"

"Actually, no," Athrun interrupted. "You're still listed as a bridesmaid. I told Meer that you'd come around eventually."

"You were holding out on me?"

His gaze softened. It only occurred to me how familiar the look he gave me was; as though he'd been staring at me the same way all this time.

"Of course I was," he answered with a genuine smile. I didn't know what to make of my heart beating fast, but all I knew was that I _couldn't_ be in love with Athrun. Meyrin and Lacus were wrong. I wasn't in love with Athrun. Not then, not now. "Cagalli, I—"

Athrun's phone rang and it gave me the perfect excuse to turn away and recover what was left of my dignity. He stood and went to the other room where he answered the call. I wanted to slap some sense into myself, but the words of Meyrin and Lacus had etched themselves in my mind somehow and now all I could think of was the possibility that Athrun had really loved me—and that I wasn't too far from reciprocating his feelings.

"Meer," I heard him groan, his voice echoing through the corridor. "I can't do that right now."

I strained my hearing so that I could focus on his voice, but I couldn't make out much of what he was saying. All I could tell was that it sounded like he was arguing with Meer. I felt relieved that they weren't on the best terms, but I also felt a tad bit guilty that I had allowed Athrun to continue with his terrible decision for as long as I had. Any romantic suggestions aside, I was his _friend_. And as his friend, I should have done right by him from the very beginning. I knew there was just something _off_ with his relationship with Meer and I shouldn't have waited until Lacus and Meyrin talked to me just to do something about it.

After a few minutes, Athrun came out of the room and I tried to look busy so that he wouldn't know I was eavesdropping. He came back to the living room and sat on the couch opposite my chair; sighing as he slumped in his seat.

"Trouble with the future Mrs. Zala?" I couldn't help but asking. "You look like shit just from answering that call."

"Don't ruin this, Cagalli," he said—and the way he said my name brought out this tingling sensation at the bottom of my spine somehow. "If I'm going to wake up from this dream, can you at least give me some time to let this sink in?"

I had no idea what he was talking about. He remained sat on his couch with his eyes closed, looking like he was about to sleep. He didn't move, didn't speak; what the hell was I going to do with him?

I watched as he remained motionless, fascinated by how he looked so peaceful despite the signs of haggardness on his face. It reminded me so much of how he was in his last year of college, when I saw the least of him because he was busy with his thesis and such. He stressed himself out but would still look at ease with me. It reminded me of simpler times when all I knew was that Athrun was always there for me.

His eyes fluttered open and his lips quirked into a frown.

"You're still here."

I was taken aback by his statement. "Why wouldn't I be?"

He didn't answer and instead turned away. Athrun looked _sad_. It was so pathetic to see him like this, to see on his face that he had _missed_ me. I missed him, too, but it seemed like our separation affected him more than it did me—and I felt even worse about abandoning our friendship just because of a feud between us.

"Athrun." I was looking at the dark blue of his hair and I wondered what he was thinking. There were so many things I wanted to tell him. _Sorry_ was on top of the list, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize to him. Not yet. There was something even more important that he needed to hear. "I—"

The doorbell rang and Athrun stood up to attention. He seemed to be shaking his head; I didn't really know—I was too busy staring at the countertop of his kitchen to pay attention to what he was doing.

I was about to tell him that I loved him.

O Haumea.

I fought to keep the red off my cheeks, but somehow I was slapping myself and making my face even more tinted. What the hell was that? What the hell was I thinking? Telling Athrun that I _loved_ him? Where the hell did that come from?

"Cagalli!" Someone called out my attention and I turned around to see Meer standing at the doorway. She beamed at me—though I could tell she was feigning amiability—then she looked accusingly at her fiancé. "You didn't tell me she was here."

I stood up and followed the two to the doorway where I greeted Meer with an awkward smile. "I was here to drop off flowers, actually."

"Flowers?"

"They were for you," I supplied nervously. Lacus didn't dwell much on how I would approach Meer so I was currently at a loss. Meer could easily foil our plans by kicking me out of the wedding entourage so I had to chummy it up with her _now_. "It's a 'hello, I'm still here as your bridesmaid' bouquet."

At that, she smirked. Perhaps she thought that I had accepted that I was just going to let myself slip in the background and be her lowly bridesmaid. "Oh, wonderful! Athrun did say you'd come around—although I did have my doubts."

"Well you don't have to doubt any longer." I tried to sell myself as the ever supportive groupie, which I knew Meer would suck up because she was just the kind of person to think people would clamor just to be part of her special day. "I'm here now and I promise to actually do my bridesmaid duties and go wear heels or whatever else bridesmaids do."

Meer laughed at my humor. "If you're free right now, you can come with me for a fitting so that your dress can be ready by the final rehearsal."

"Oh." I didn't want to try on dresses with Meer; I wanted to stay and catch up with Athrun more, learn more about his relationship with Meer so that I knew which angle to take when I would finally break the news of Meer's infidelity to Athrun. But I had to appear inconspicuous to Meer else our plans would be ruined. "Sure."

"Wonderful!" Meer clapped again. Then she faced her fiancé and glowered. "Athrun."

"I told you I'm not going out today," Athrun answered. "It's supposed to be my day off from wedding duties."

I knew that based on the schedule Lacus had given me a copy of. I watched as the two of them fought it out silently just by exchanging looks. They were being hostile with each other—even in my presence—and I wondered if this was really how engaged couples acted as the stress of wedding planning piled up.

"Fine," Meer grumbled. "But I'm taking Cagalli with me."

"Go do what you want," Athrun replied, walking back into his apartment. He took the bag he was carrying earlier when I arrived and the flowers out of the vase. Then, he pushed me out of the doorway as he closed the door to his unit behind us. "I'll be at the gym."

Athrun left me with Meer at the corridor of his complex. He took the emergency stairs instead of waiting for the elevator, probably knowing that Meer wouldn't chase him down there. I turned to Meer and saw her shaking her head, not too pleased at Athrun's reaction to her arrival.

"Well," she started, flipping her long hair behind her shoulder like the fabulous woman she was. Meer had a way of intimidating others despite being insecure herself—and _now_ I felt threatened by her. "Let's go."

* * *

**Note:** This is a short chapter but it had to be this way because I'm setting up the second part of the story! I know this update is a bit late, but I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless. Any guesses on Lacus's plan? :p


	7. Threat

**Why We Broke Up**  
**Chapter Seven: Threat**  
by _tyrantsandcreampuffs_

* * *

A few days after I met up with Athrun again, Lacus called to check up on me.

"Hey!" she greeted ever cheerfully. Then, her voice took on an accusatory tone. "You didn't answer any of my texts."

"Yeah," I answered noncommittally. The truth was that I didn't know how to deal with Athrun right now—especially after the day I spent with Meer. I was so convinced that I had to help Athrun, that I was doing it more to help him than to help myself after realizing that I _may_ have had—or _have_—feelings for my oldest friend. But after the things Meer said to me, I wasn't so sure anymore. "I've just been busy with work."

"You run a café. How busy could you be?"

_Quite busy, mind you_, I wanted to tell her—but that would've been beside the point. Lacus knew I was purposefully ignoring her. And she was calling because she knew I wouldn't have any excuse to pick up.

"Cold feet?" she inquired.

"No, that's what we want Athrun to get," I replied, not letting my sarcasm seep too much into my voice. "I know what I have to do, Lacus; it's just…"

_I don't know how to go about this anymore_.

"Cagalli?" Lacus called out on the other end of the line. "Did anything happen?"

_Yes_ was the honest answer—but that wasn't something I was ready to admit to. Not to her or to myself.

"Everything's fine, Lacus," I lied, immediately feeling guilty. "I promised to help and currently I have everything on my end under control."

"That's good. Meyrin's trying to dig up more dirt and substantial evidence we can use against Meer."

"Well, if all goes according to plan, Athrun should be calling it off by next week, right?"

"Yes!" I could hear Lacus's enthusiasm at the thought of her goal becoming accomplished. "And I expect you to keep up with your presence in his life."

"Yeah, to agitate his emotions for me or whatever."

"Well you've seen firsthand now how lifeless he's been! He needs _you_, Cagalli," Lacus was being supportive again and I knew that it was one of her tactics to make me feel guilty if I wasn't cooperating with her plan—but she was doing everything in sincere pursuit of Athrun's happiness and I couldn't really say anything bad about her for it. "How many times have you seen him since our talk?"

"Once," I mumbled, hoping that she'd mishear and assume I said a larger number.

"Once!" I had to put the phone a good distance away from my ear when she started screeching. "Cagalli, I thought that you'd try to see him every other day—"

"With try being the operative word!" I countered, annoyed. "I _am_ trying, Lacus. You have to give me more credit here. It's been quite difficult for me after I saw Athrun."

"Because you realized your feelings for him?"

"No!"

"I can tell when you're being defensive, Cagalli; that tone is doing you no favor."

"I _don't_ like Athrun!"

"Then what's making this difficult for you?"

I wanted to tell Lacus the truth that I _did_ realize my feelings for Athrun, but I didn't know what she'd do if that was the case. Surely she'd push for me to confess as soon as possible, and that wasn't something I could pull off. I had spent the past few days thinking, reminiscing; wondering when the hell did I start liking Athrun. When did I consider the possibility of him being something more than just my friend? And then I would remember that night we kissed—and how in the back of my mind I knew it was right, but I was just so _terrified_.

And that was only really the icing of the cake because Meer practically threatened me and I couldn't exactly tell Lacus that her plans could be compromised. She and Meyrin were counting on me and I had to find my way around Meer myself.

"I told you," I responded, knowing how dishonest I was being. "I've just been busy. Someone caught the flu at work and I'm down two employees."

The latter wasn't a complete lie. I _was_ down two workers—but only because I granted their request for a leave. Lacus didn't know that, but it was believable enough for her to be acquiesced.

"But you'll be going later to the lessons, aren't you?" she asked, concerned. "Kira will be arriving at Aprilius today and he will be picking you up on his way to the venue."

These details were all in the schedule which Lacus had provided. Meer had apparently insisted that all her bridesmaids and Athrun's groomsmen to learn how to dance and so arranged for a day just for all of us to learn how to be prim and proper in the ballroom so as to 'not embarrass her' or whatever reason she had.

"I'll be there," I finally said and ended the call.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

* * *

After stepping out of Athrun's apartment complex, Meer and I took a cab to go to her dressmaker, some girl named Stellar Loussier. Her name was supposedly synonymous with couture down on earth, as Meer would not stop talking about how Stellar Loussier was the top designer of the year. I couldn't care less what Meer wanted me to wear because I was pretty sure her wedding wasn't going to happen. Still, I had to feign politeness, nodding to almost everything she said. I tried my best not to show how irritated I was with her presence, but I had to be patient else everything would be ruined.

When we arrived at the quaint shop, we were immediately greeted by the designer herself. She had on a dress of blue and white which seemed to show too much skin; and draped on her shoulders was measuring tape.

"Oh, Miss Campbell! What a lovely surprise!" She kissed Meer's cheek and led us inside to a lounge with dressing rooms. "But I do believe that your fitting isn't scheduled until two weeks from now."

"Yes, darling, but this bridesmaid of mine hasn't had her measurements taken yet."

"Is that so?" Stellar turned to me, assessing me. Both she and Meer weren't too taken with the fact that I was wearing pants, but that hardly bothered me. "Well, I'll take them right now. Shinn!"

A black-haired man who couldn't be three years younger than me stepped out of another room looking irate.

"What," he grumbled, not pleased to have been summoned. "Do you need?"

"I need to take her measurements! She's part of Sir Athrun's wedding."

"Really now?" This Shinn guy looked at me and sneered. "You must be the prodigal bridesmaid then."

"That's not even the right use of prodigal," I pointed out, smirking when he growled back. "Can we just get this over with?"

"Most certainly," Stellar interrupted, stomping on Shinn's foot—presumably to keep the boy hushed. I rolled my eyes, not bothering myself with their immaturity. How this young girl was the best designer in the world, I didn't know—and I really didn't care.

After Stellar wrapped her tape around every surface of skin on me, she and Shinn went to the back room to get a sample dress. Apparently I was about the same size as another one of Meer's bridesmaids and they wanted to see the dress on me because they hadn't had their fitting yet.

"I think you'll look beautiful, Cagalli," Meer commented and I was taken aback by how earnest she sounded. "Athrun was the one who chose the color of the dresses of the bridesmaids."

"Did he now?" I tried to appear as uninterested as possible, but at the mention of his name, my heart skipped a beat. "Whatever he picked, it must be a nice choice—"

"Light green, _your _favorite color," Meer interrupted rather harshly. "Of course he chose it because of _you_."

_No_. I needed Meer to think I was on her side, to make her trust me. But she apparently had hostile feelings for me and I didn't know how what to say to make her believe that I didn't have any intentions.

"Meer, I—"

"And I'm telling you to back off now, Cagalli," she warned, standing up and walking towards me. She looked quite intimidating with her high heels and practiced glare, but I tried my best to not budge. "You were gone from Athrun's life for so long and now you come back a month before our wedding? I call _bullshit_."

I didn't do anything about Meer. It wasn't in me to just accept threats, especially not from the likes of Meer, but I would compromise the mission if I gave in to my urge to put a shiner on the face of Athrun's bride-to-be. Still, it was hard to keep up with appearances when I didn't know what to do. This was not in Lacus's manual.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Meer," I told her with the eloquence my father instilled in me. He had always taught me to remain diplomatic in the most impossible situations and it was paying off now more than ever. "I'm here because Athrun told me he wanted me to be there at _your_ wedding."

Stellar entered the room again and just as Meer had said, the dress _was_ my favorite color.

* * *

Kira was the only one I entrusted with a spare key to my apartment. I had no plans on giving anyone a copy, but he had insisted that I give him one because he was my brother. He entered my apartment shouting my name. Typical Kira to not even bother checking the rooms. I groaned as I got off my—very comfortable—bed and walked out to the living quarters to entertain my one and only half-sibling in the universe. Not that I was given a choice anyway.

"Cagalli!" Kira ran up to hug me. He was usually quiet and timid, but he became expressive with me—which I didn't mind because it was nice to know that he could be open with me. "I missed you so much, lil' sis!"

"Don't call me that," I hissed, pushing him away from me. As much as I enjoyed hugging Kira, I just wasn't in the mood. "You're early."

"Is that a bad thing?" Kira was frowning, probably upset that I wasn't reactive to his gesture. I walked to the kitchen and got myself a glass of water as he continued speaking. "I thought that since we'd have two hours to spare before going to those ridiculous lessons, we could catch up a bit. You haven't been the most responsive lately."

"Because you'd keep badgering me about Athrun's wedding!"

"Because I _know_ you're keeping things to yourself again."

"And it's such a terrible thing to have secrets, isn't it?"

"It is when what you're keeping are your feelings."

"Oh, and now you're suddenly an expert? After all that drama with Flay and Lacus?"

"At least I was being honest—"

"And that honesty ended up hurting people, Kira!" I didn't mean to slam my cup onto the table and spill water, but I had all this _pent up_ frustration and I couldn't really tell anyone about it. Athrun used to be my confidant, but he wasn't available for me anymore. "You know I didn't want to go to Athrun's wedding, right?"

Kira followed me into the kitchen. He took a seat on one of the high stools near the countertop and offered me a smile.

"Yes, but Lacus was able to convince you to go with her plan, wasn't she?"

I shook my head. "I've never really been able to say no to her."

"Lacus does have a way to be persuasive—"

"I don't even want to know whatever corollary there is to that fact when it comes to you."

"But she really only ever has good intentions," Kira said, rolling his eyes. "She wouldn't have asked you to play along with her little scheme if she didn't believe that the outcome would be for the good of everyone—including _you_."

I frowned. "You know everything about her plan?"

"She ran it by me a couple of times," he admitted. "And I know the first step of everything was to make you admit to your feelings for Athrun."

"And how are you okay with your half-sister having feelings for your best friend?"

"I think my being in love with Athrun's fiancée was worse."

"Right."

"Listen, Cagalli," Kira reached out and took my hand from across the table. "No matter what you do, someone is bound to get hurt. If you stop Athrun's wedding, Meer's going to be upset. If you don't, you and Athrun are both going to suffer for who knows how long."

I knew that. I knew that there was going to be consequences to all my actions since I agreed to partake in Lacus's plans. And I knew that I was already hurting just at the thought of failing.

"It's all a matter of choice, Cagalli," Kira concluded with a gentle look in his purple eyes. "And I hope you choose what's going to make you truly happy."

* * *

After spending so much time catching up, I was surprised that Kira and I arrived at the dance studio right on time. I didn't know who the other bridesmaids were, but based on their stares, I knew that Meer didn't tell them the nicest things about me. Luckily, I didn't have to feel awkward because I was very familiar with each of Athrun's groomsmen.

"Well, look who's here!" Dearka, a tall tanned blond, declared as Kira and I entered the reserved room. "Little Miss Cagalli Yula Athha finally making her grand appearance!"

"Shut it, Elsman," Yzak grunted, elbowing his friend with a glare. Yzak hadn't changed one bit; he still maintained his stylish cut for his platinum hair and his blue eyes were as piercing as ever. That and he still had his awful temper. "This acoustics of this room wasn't meant to handle your pompous voice."

"Hey, calm down, you two." Nicol was ever the sweetheart and offered an apologetic smile in my direction. "Hey, Cagalli."

"Hey yourself," I replied, hugging the green-haired lad. "Where's Miguel?"

Miguel Aiman was one of Athrun's groomsmen as listed in the wedding invitation—and was the only one not present. I looked around the room for signs of another blond but he was nowhere in sight.

"Ah," Kira started, apologizing to the other members of the entourage. "I haven't told her yet."

"Told me what?"

"Miguel got into an accident last week and is currently confined in a hospital. The doctors don't think he'll be able to walk for a while and has to go through intensive physical therapy."

"Oh," I gasped. The grim looks on the faces of the other groomsmen was enough indication that I was being terribly insensitive. "I'm sorry; I didn't know."

"It's alright, Cagalli." Kira put an arm around my shoulder. "It's a good thing that one of Athrun's friends was willing to be part of the entourage this close to the wedding."

There was supposedly a new groomsman, but I didn't see any other guy in the room. "Who—?"

My question was cut short as the door slammed open and a woman with long midnight blue hair similar to Athrun's sauntered in. She towered over everyone in the room—including Dearka—as she wore the highest heels I've ever seen. Yet she was able to exude a certain grace and was fluid in every motion; it was safe to assume that she was our dance instructor.

"My name is Aisha and I will be teaching you how to not embarrass yourselves on the day of the wedding," she said, confirming her identity. "The bride and the groom requested to have their own private sessions and will not be joining us today."

I cursed inwardly. I tolerated wearing these damned heels because I thought I would have the opportunity to see Athrun—but somehow Meer found a way to foil that, too. Now I was no step closer to accomplishing anything in Lacus's plan and I was stuck in the most uncomfortable shoes for the next two hours.

"Now, as per the bride's request, the pairing of bridesmaids and groomsmen will be as follows," Aisha announced, reading through a list on her tablet screen. "First, the maid of honor and the best man will be paired together, of course."

Kira left my side to meet with Meer's principal bridesmaid at the middle of the dance floor. I didn't know who she was, but she was glaring daggers at my direction. I simply rolled my eyes and didn't bother with her or with any one of Meer's cronies. I didn't care for them—after all, I wouldn't have to deal with them on the wedding day because there wasn't going to be a wedding day.

Aisha continued to list down the names of the pairings and I became anxious to find out who I was going to have to dance with. I had two left feet and I couldn't dance if it meant stopping the next war from breaking out. Whoever I was going to be paired with, they were going to have to suffer from my heels.

"Miss Athha?" I was acutely aware of her calling me out and I raised my hand for her to know who I was. "Ah, you're supposed to be paired with Mister Westenfluss. Mister Westenfluss?"

Meer had paired me up with Heine Westenfluss. Heine. Athrun's friend. The person Meer _cheated_ on Athrun with. And she had the gall to pair me up with _him_.

The door opened and I didn't have to guess who it was.

"Sorry I'm late," Heine exclaimed, all amber charm. He was beaming at the other ladies until his eyes landed on me. "Miss Athha, I believe we've met before. Seeing as you're the only one standing alone, I can assume that you're my dancing partner. Sorry I've made you wait."

"She hasn't been waiting long at all," Aisha answered for me, striding to the door and pulling him in. She dragged him—I was surprised by her strength—and made him stand by me. "But I do not appreciate any form of tardiness."

"Duly noted, Ma'am," he answered back, sending a wink to her direction. Aisha rolled her eyes and carried on to the front of the class. Then, Heine turned to me. "If I may say, Miss Athha, you still look as radiant as ever. Are you by chance seeing anyone at the moment?"

No. But I _was _going to see to it that his feet would have multiple bruises by the end of the day.

* * *

With Stellar and Shinn in the room, Meer really couldn't say much to me. But when we were finally done with the most awkward dress fitting of the century, I had to leave the petite designer's studio with Meer. And when we were finally outside, that's when she decided to rain hell upon me.

"You're not going to do anything to ruin _my_ wedding, do you understand?" She pointed an accusatory finger at me and dug her long nails into my shoulder as she provoked me. "You think you can just walk back into Athrun's life and take him away from me?"

"Meer," I tried to reason with her. She wasn't incorrect, though, but I still had to qualm her somehow. "You're misunderstanding the situation—"

"No, I see right through whatever it is you're planning and I know you're out to stop my wedding, _Athha_." Man, Meer had no shortage of trust issues and insecurities. I almost _pitied_ her for the nasty side she was showing, but I was too annoyed at her to even consider sympathizing with her. "You're _not_ going to take Athrun away from me."

"I don't have feelings for Athrun—"

"Yes you do! And you'd be so stupid to think that you can convince anyone otherwise."

"I really don't—"

"And Athrun obviously loves you back! He's loved you for who knows how long, but you've been oblivious to his feelings—except now, for some reason." Meer jabbed her finger on my shoulder one last time before she pulled herself away. "But even if you did finally realize your feelings for Athrun, I'm his _bride_ now, Cagalli. I'm the one he asked to marry. Not _you_ or Lacus Clyne or that Meyrin whoever she is."

Meer was obviously playing to her own insecurities and not mine, but somehow she was still finding a way to monumentally piss me off. I couldn't stand her attitude, how she thought she was above me—and how she just shrugged off Meyrin and Lacus as she did.

She turned around, her heels clicking, and started to walk away.

"I know what you did!" I shouted at her, furious. I knew I was going against Lacus's guide and was risking being thrown out of the wedding, but I was so _angry_. "I know you cheated on him!"

Meer didn't face me. She didn't even bother to acknowledge what I had just accused her of. And she didn't need to. She left without another word and all I knew now was that Athrun couldn't spend his life with someone like _her_.

I _had_ to stop their wedding.

* * *

**Note:** I think it's important for me to point out that what Cagalli's been denying in the past few chapters was Athrun's feelings and not necessarily hers. :p But seeing Athrun again and _noticing_ him made her realize that it was a possibility and that she might like him as well. Also, Cagalli wasn't afraid to admit that she did find Athrun attractive, so that was one step in that direction. ;)

Thank you for all the reviews and messages! I do agree that Athrun should have been more proactive in pursuing Cagalli, but the thing is was that they were both scared of screwing up their friendship. :)


	8. Truth

**Why We Broke Up**  
**Chapter Eight: Truth**  
by _tyrantsandcreampuffs_

* * *

"What time did you get home?" Kira yawned as he stepped out of the guest room. He was too sleepy to be angry with me, so I didn't bother being defensive. "I didn't hear you come back."

"Some time after midnight," I answered, continuing to stir my cup of coffee. There was no point in lying to Kira—he always seemed to know when I wasn't being completely honest with him. "And you didn't hear me because you sleep like a log. Not even a giant mobile suit stomping through the colony could wake you up."

"Hey!" Kira really couldn't put up an argument in the morning. Instead of rebuffing me, he jumped onto the stool and leaned on the counter. Without him speaking a word, I poured him his cup of coffee, adding two teaspoons of sugar—just how he liked it. He offered a warm smile before taking a sip of the dark drink. "Thanks, Cagalli."

"Good morning to you, too." I wasn't the most cheerful person in the mornings, but I got used to functioning in the early hours of the day because I often had to open up the café myself. "What do you have for today?"

"You should know; I'm pretty sure Lacus gave you an access to my schedule."

"But I haven't _checked_."

"I'm going to have lunch with Athrun—and no, you may _not_ come with."

"Kira!" I protested. He _knew_ how vital it was that I saw Athrun and he was forsaking my opportunity to do so, the jerk. "Come on!"

"Big boys bonding time." My half-brother took another sip from his mug and smiled. "I'm going to meet with him today because I haven't personally seen him in weeks. You saw him just a few days ago."

"But I—"

"No buts." Kira tried to look apologetic, but I knew he knew how much I wanted to throttle him. Sadly, I couldn't murder my only half-brother because then I'd be down one person who was on my side. "_However_, I can perhaps arrange for a dinner between you and Athrun tonight."

"However? That's just semantics!"

"Are you complaining?"

"No," I answered, walking over and wrapping my arms around his narrow frame. "Thank you, Kira. And also I think you should eat more. Is Lacus not feeding you enough?"

He rolled his eyes and returned to drinking his coffee. Quiet moments like this were what I appreciated the most about having Kira. Despite our complicated background, we were still family—and we were both okay with just having each other. I sat on the stool next to him and reached for the pieces of bread on the counter, carefully placing one in my mouth.

"So," he restarted the conversation, looking more awake. "Did you enjoy your date last night?"

"It wasn't a date."

"Right. I forgot that fraternizing with the _enemy_ isn't considered a date."

"It was an opportunity!" I said in my defense. I hardly saw it as an evening with a romantic prospect—or what others would call it, a '_date_'. "It was a chance for me to learn more about Heine. Like, why in the world he'd want to sleep with that horrid creature or why he'd choose to betray his friend like that."

Kira raised a brow in disbelief. That was fine by me because I knew what I had done; I knew what I was _doing_.

"And what _did _you learn, exactly?"

* * *

During the entirety of the dance rehearsal, Heine kept trying to charm me off my feet. Though, now that I think about it, he was probably doing that so I didn't have to be on toes because I managed to step on him around eighty percent of the time. Whether it was intentional or not, I wouldn't admit to anyone.

By the end, his feet were probably hurting. I was smirking triumphantly when Aisha told us that we'd all done a great job and that we were all such fast learners because I saw how Heine was trying to massage his toes through his shoes. I thought I was successful in my short-term goal of hurting him, but he was resilient and followed me and Kira out of the studio.

"Hey," he called out, making me and Kira stop and turn around. "You were amazing today."

Kira laughed out loud and I had to slap his arm to get him to stop. I wasn't the slightest bit embarrassed at my lack of dancing skills, but Heine really believed that he could flatter me just to have his way.

"Goodbye, Heine," I said, trying to suppress my own urge to cackle. "I'll see you at the final rehearsal."

"Wait!" He grabbed my arm and Kira stepped between us, his brotherly instinct to be protective kicking in. Heine, though, didn't appear to be fazed. "I'd like to ask you out for dinner."

I placed a reassuring hand on Kira's back to let him know I was fine with talking to Heine this way. He didn't like Heine either—after all, he was one of the few who were aware of what the blond had done. I was calculating in my head the pros and cons of agreeing to meet with Heine outside of the required dance lesson. I had never thought of it—and it surely wasn't anywhere in Lacus's plan—but my initial assessment outputted that there wasn't much of a risk to it.

"I'd love to," I answered. I saw Kira open his mouth, ready to sputter something most likely unintelligent to convince me otherwise, but I stepped on his foot to shut him up. "I'm assuming we'll be eating at your restaurant?"

"The Phantom, yes." Heine looked delighted that I had agreed. "Unless you had another place in mind."

"Dinner with you wasn't even on my mind."

"_Right_." He tried to laugh it off, but Kira and I both saw how he fumbled around his discomfort. Poor guy probably wasn't used to the thought of rejection. But when I remembered that he and Meer had copulated, I had to suppress my urge to gag. "Well, you can hitch a ride with me. Kira can come, too—"

"No thanks," Kira answered, ever the polite one. Though I knew he wanted to punch Heine as much as I did, he was better than me at controlling rather violent impulses. "I have a few work things I need to get sorted out since I'm away from the office. I'll see you at the apartment, Cagalli."

"I'll bring her back before midnight." Heine brought up his sleeve to take a glance at his watch. It was probably expensive, as was the rest of his lifestyle. "If we leave now, that is. Wow, I didn't expect dancing to take up that much time."

Kira pulled me aside and whispered, "I hope you know what you're doing."

I wasn't sure yet, but I gave him a reaffirming nod nonetheless.

* * *

"And that was how the whole orange motif of the restaurant came to be," he finished explaining a question I asked him to fill up the time—and I hadn't even paid any attention to a word he was saying. "Is there anything else you'd like to know?"

I shook my head to say no. I asked him quite a lot about his restaurant as we both were in the food enterprise. About the rest of the menu, his chefs, his general inspiration, everything I could think of. And I had just run out of questions. I didn't know what strategy to employ to get him to admit to sleeping with Meer, but I knew that simply diving headfirst would do me no good.

"Good," Heine said. "Because I have a few for you."

I gulped. I had expected him to ask questions as I did, but I had hoped that I was able to keep filling the time until we finished dinner and I got to the _real_ questions.

"Since you've been so accommodating the whole evening—and the afternoon, too, despite my clumsiness—I shall oblige you as well."

"Wonderful, Miss Athha." He gave a smile that reached his eyes, made the emerald in them twinkle. He was definitely handsome, I'd give him that—and he had a charm that was similar to Athrun's. That, and the resemblance of the green in their eyes was uncanny. For a second, I thought I understood how Meer could have seen Athrun in Heine, but I chastised myself; there was no justification for what she'd done. "First, I wanted to ask if you were honest when you said you weren't currently seeing anyone."

"Yes, I was."

"And why, might I ask?"

I honestly didn't know how to respond to that. _Why?_ Why hadn't I dated anyone after Yuna? Sure, I may have let two or three casual encounters slip, but I hadn't allowed myself to commit to anything. _Why?_ I had never bothered asking myself either.

"I don't know." It was a straightforward answer.

He nodded and then grinned. "Perhaps it has something to do with a certain Athrun Zala?"

"What?" I stammered. "Of course not!"

"You're being quite contradictory with the way you're blushing."

I brought a hand up to my cheek and felt its warmth radiate through my skin.

"That doesn't prove anything," I said, huffing, bringing my hand back down to my lap. "I was a bachelorette out of my own volition."

"But I heard that you had a falling out with our good friend Athrun after you separated from a certain Yuna Roma Seiran."

Heine should not have known that. He didn't know anything about me personally and for him to know such private information was discomforting.

"Ah, you might be wondering why I know that—and for your own peace of mind, I'll tell you." Heine had a certain shine in his eyes that I didn't like. It was him being mischievous, a snake offering the fruit of knowledge. He was withholding information that he knew I wanted to know about. "People talk in restaurants like these, you see. Phantom is a mix of casual and fine dining and I provide the atmosphere and environment in which people can eat and talk; socialize. There are a lot of privy information I get my hands on just from the whispers which float through the ballroom."

What was I supposed to say to that? I fumbled for the hem of my dress—the one which I had been required to wear for dancing and hadn't changed out of since. I couldn't help it; Heine had a way of making me uncomfortable, and it was the first time that night that I felt like I was losing control of the situation. He knew things which he wasn't supposed to.

"I'm just kidding," he said after a while, sniggering. "After your so-called fight, Athrun had a date here with Meer—and I asked him a few questions myself while Meer went and refreshed herself. He'd told me that you had recently caught your boyfriend cheating. I knew who Yuna Roma Seiran was based on Athrun's description as the bloke had eaten here once or twice with a few other people. I'm sure he was of no loss to you."

I didn't know if I could trust Heine. This was the guy Meyrin informed me of being the other party involved in Meer's infidelity. He was the one who took the extra effort to make me go out to dinner with him. He had been nothing but kind despite my mistreatment during dancing, but now he was revealing himself, telling me that he had an ace—more like aces—up his sleeve; and I didn't know what to do with him.

"But I digress," he continued. "I had asked Athrun why he wasn't with _you_, Miss Athha—because I had always known how special you were to him."

"Really now?"

Heine smirked. He was the one holding the cards at the moment and he had every right to be confident. "I've been sensing your hostility this day, Miss Athha, and I couldn't find a reason for your animosity towards me as I don't think I've done you any wrong."

For one, I wanted to tell him that I had found his calling me _Miss Athha_ quite old-fashioned. But I didn't want him to call me just by my first name either because that would make me familiar with him—which wasn't supposed to happen at all because he was supposed to be the other half of the _enemy_.

"In fact, I think I've done you a great service—sleeping with Meer and all." He leaned in closer, his grin not leaving his lips. I didn't know _how_ he knew that I knew or if he was simply bluffing, but I was baffled by what was happening. I couldn't react; my brain couldn't process what was going on with Heine. "There are truths which even Lacus Clyne doesn't know. There are certain things that her pretty little singing birds can't pick up. I, on the other hand, can tell you _everything_, as I'm sure you're _dying_ to know."

When I initially assessed the pros and cons of having dinner with Heine, this scenario never occurred to me. In fact, now that I think about it, Lacus's guide hasn't helped me at all—but perhaps it was because I hardly followed her instructions. Still, I had no idea that _this_ would happen.

"But in return," Heine continued. "I'm going to ask you for a _favor_."

* * *

While Kira went to his lunch meeting with Athrun, I left for the café. There wasn't a day—excluding sick days—that I didn't go to my establishment. Even if I wasn't needed, I still went to assist my own employees. I believed that being available was the best way for them to trust me and to be loyal to me, so that in turn they'd churn out great service for the customers. Simply being there had a huge impact to their morale—and I guess the same could be said about my relationship with others, especially with Athrun.

When I arrived, operations were running smoothly. Every customer was content in their own corner, happily sipping coffee or taking a bite out of the sweet treats we served. It was all quiet and peaceful for the next few hours—until a certain redheaded disaster walked in.

Meyrin was in her work clothes, all proper, but her appearance was haggard. The building of Minerva was more than five blocks away and based on her appearance it didn't take detective work to know she had ran the entire distance.

"You!" she panted, catching her breath. She placed her hands on her knees, stabilizing herself. I was on the other side of the counter when she came in—which I think was a good thing or else she would have knocked me over. "I have been trying to call you!"

"I haven't been receiving any calls." I reached for the phone which was supposed to be in my pocket but I didn't feel anything present. "_Oh_."

"Yes, _oh_!" Meyrin looked very much irate on top of her exhaustion. She wobbled her way to the closest empty table and sat on the chair. She removed her heels and I felt a pang of guilt in my chest, knowing that my absentmindedness had caused the poor girl to run a mile in those painful shoes. Afterwards, she looked at me with a somber look in her dark blue eyes. "Have you seen Athrun today?"

"Don't you work in the same office?"

"He works on a different floor now ever since Meer had him transferred to the priority project," the redheaded explained, exasperated. "Cagalli, _have you_?"

"No. I might meet him later for dinner, though."

"Well, you can say goodbye to that."

"What?" Kira hadn't really updated me yet about my possible meeting with Athrun. But then again, he might have been contacting me through my phone which I didn't have on my person. "Meyrin, what's happening? Lacus told me that you were looking for information on Meer. Did you find anything?"

Meyrin looked frantic, as though she was ready to have a panic attack. I had never seen her in such an agitated state because she was always very professional—though there were times her immaturity showed, she always made a point to make others take her seriously.

"It was quite difficult," she started, bringing out a tablet from her bag, the screen displaying Meer's profile. "Just a general background check shows the most basic details: her family, her educational attainments, her employment statuses, etcetera. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. But then I dug a little further; had to hack a few servers and access certain files without proper security clearance—and then I found_ it_."

I was anxious to know what Meyrin found and how it could possibly be related to the things which Heine had told me last night. Meyrin herself looked apprehensive as she spoke, looking around the room in fear of someone else listening in.

"I accessed her medical records. They were confidential—like, even more so than usual. It was buried deeper than other files, but I got through the encryption anyway. They tried to cover it up for some reason; I'm sure the Dullindals used their influence to make sure it wouldn't ever come to light." Meyrin's voice lowered in volume, and a grim expression masked her face. "Meer is sick, Cagalli—rather, she's _terminally ill_."

Meyrin was waiting for my reaction—probably she expected me to enter some panicked state like her. But instead I told her calmly, "I know."

* * *

"I had first met Meer when we were in secondary school over at October City. She was already like _that_; she liked to flaunt her wealth and status every chance she could. Meer wasn't the easiest person to get along with, as you probably already know, so she wasn't the most popular girl around. But I could see through her; I saw her insecurities and how she had great self-doubt. I had found her breaking down over it once. I became her confidant afterwards, and we've been the closest of friends since." Heine stopped his short narration to give me a look that mirrored sympathy. "You probably know where I'm headed here."

"You love her," I supplied. I hadn't at all expected that there was _more_ to Meer and Heine than I initially suspected. It had been so easy to antagonize the both of them, to believe that they had committed such a heinous act just to spite Athrun; but knowing that there were _feelings_ involved—feelings that were so similar to mine—made it all the more messy. "You love _Meer_."

Heine nodded. "I did pursue Meer after we both had graduated, but she denied me, saying that she couldn't handle a long distance relationship. She didn't want to be distracted; she did everything she could to further her career as a model. So I let her be as she travelled around and I started my life here in Aprilius."

"And did Athrun know about your past with Meer?"

"No, but I wish I had told him about it." Heine frowned, making his forehead crease. "You know Athrun better than anyone, Miss Athha—perhaps even better than Kira. You know he wouldn't have agreed to go out with Meer if he _knew_. But Meer really likes Athrun and she had made me promise to not tell him a word about our past."

"But if you tell him now, then surely he'll back off!" I told him, eager to have my goals accomplished. Heine could be the one to help me get Athrun to call the wedding off. I had thought that he'd be much more sinister, but he was proving to be a possible useful ally. "Surely Athrun would listen to you as he holds you in such high regard!"

"It isn't that simple."

"Why not? Meer had told me that Athrun _loves_ me, Heine. Even Meer admits that her fiancé doesn't love her the way she wants him to!" Now that I was saying it out loud, it occurred to me that perhaps _that's_ why she went to Heine; because she wanted to _feel _wanted, because Athrun didn't see her as Heine did. "Have you seen Athrun lately, Heine? He's _miserable_ because of this wedding. And I bet you're just as upset—probably even more so."

"Athrun and I have resigned to the fact that we _can't_ get the happy ending we envisioned, _Cagalli_." Heine clicked his tongue in distaste. "Athrun's convinced that you will only ever see him as a friend and nothing more. While I—well, as much as I love Meer, it's not going to make her live any longer."

"What?" I couldn't make sense of Heine's last sentence. "What do you mean by that?"

"Meer became sick when we were still students. I don't know the complete science of it because I'm not a doctor, but she has some heart condition. A genetic anomaly, they had said—they don't know how she's lived for as long as she has. That's why she takes everything she can in life; she doesn't know when her heart will give up on her. That's why she relentlessly pursued Athrun."

My heart suddenly broke for Meer—something I didn't know was possible for me to do.

"Does Athrun know about this?"

Heine grimaced. "Why else do you think he asked her to marry him?"

* * *

"We can't go on with this, Cagalli!" Meyrin was having a moral dilemma and she was just all over the place. "It doesn't feel right to be takingher _wedding_ away from her!"

I had thought it through the whole night—that was why I couldn't sleep well. I kept running through the different scenarios which could go on and the only conclusion I got was different from what Meyrin's line of thought. We _couldn't_ let his wedding happen—although we had a completely different motive now. Instead of Athrun, we had _Meer_ in mind. And surprisingly, pigs weren't flying outside my window.

"I read her file a couple of times and she's practically the embodiment of _carpe diem_. She's living it out because she doesn't know _when_ she'll die."

"We don't know when we're going to die but we don't throw ourselves at other people just to get married and cross it off our bucketlists."

"_Cagalli_," Meyrin was pleading. "I don't think intervening is the right thing to do anymore."

"Would you rather they marry and Meer lives the rest of her remaining years knowing her husband doesn't _love_ her?" I asked Meyrin. "That's worse."

"Then what would you have us do?"

I took a deep breath. It was ironic, really. Just last week, Meyrin and Lacus were the ones who knew what was happening with Athrun's situation. They were the ones who came up to me and suggest I do something about it. But now, after my talk with Heine, I was the one who was truly enlightened, the one with the _plan_ to fix things.

"Just trust me."

* * *

**Note:** This chapter was so intense for me to write. I had to take a break so often because I was surprised by the development myself. It's different from envisioning it, writing it down in the general scheme of things. In the end, I was amazed by how it turned out. And it's' the longest chapter so far, too. I hope you liked it! It sure is quite a twist, if I do say so myself. Perhaps you can go back to a few chapters and see Athrun's fight with Cagalli now that you have more context. ;)

Please do leave me a review or message and let me know your thoughts on this! :)


	9. Love

**Why We Broke Up  
Chapter Nine: Love  
**by _tyrantsandcreampuffs_

* * *

"You deserve to find someone you can love."

"What?" He stopped transferring the leftover stew into a container and instead looked at me. His gaze had always been intense, as though the emotions that swam underneath his emerald pools would jump at any time and could pierce through anything. I knew Athrun to be like that—always full of passion. Even with what seemed like little things, he always had such strong feelings.

"I said that once to you," I continued. "I was also here in your apartment. We were telling each other about how sorry our pathetic love lives were."

"Really now?" he chuckled, continuing to pour the food. Once finished, he placed the container in the refrigerator and sat across me again. It was nice to finally have some peace after the hectic afternoon with Meyrin and the night full of revelations with Heine. I wasn't sure yet as to how _this_ night would end, but I was trying to be optimistic. "I think I remember now."

"You told me that I deserved someone better than Yuna."

"Because that was the truth."

"And we've always been honest with each other."

"Yes, we have." He nodded in agreement. "I can always count on you to appreciate my candor."

"Have we really though?" I contested. "Been honest with each other, I mean."

He didn't answer and instead his shoulders, despite his perpetual posture, stiffened. There was an obvious tension now from my last words and I could see that he wasn't the most comfortable with such an accusation. Still, I had to continue—nothing would happen if I didn't speak up.

"You loved me, Athrun," I said. "Why didn't you say anything?" He didn't speak, too dumbfounded by my words. "Oh, right; you did—once. That same day, after I told you that you deserved to find someone you can love."

"Cagalli…"

"You had meant that, didn't you?" My voice was wavering. I could hear it cracking ever so slightly, but I kept myself together. I tried to not get overly emotional, else I couldn't go on, but I did love Athrun—I _do_. "You loved me."

Athrun still didn't speak. He hung his head, his eyes cast low and you could only see the lower end of his face with how his hair fell over his eyes. His lips formed a pensive frown, opened slightly just to breathe.

"I—I did," he said after a long while. He ran a hand through his hair, disheveling it. Athrun seemed to be weighing something in his head; I knew I put him in a difficult position because if he lied to me now then nothing would happen. We would both never find closure. But hearing him admit it to my face directly, for the first time in all the years I've known him, it felt like I was affirming something I already knew. Lacus and Meyrin were pointing it out to me, yes, but I was too blinded by my own anger over Athrun's sudden engagement then to even _listen_. I knew there was _something_ we were both inching towards. We were tethering at the boundaries of friendship and _more_, but I was too afraid—and so was he. "I loved you so much, Cagalli, I—"

"I loved you, too, Athrun." I was caught off-guard by my own confession. Athrun, too, looked surprised as his eyes widened. I offered him a small smile and took a sip of red wine from the glass he poured for me at the beginning of our dinner. Haumea knew I needed some form of alcohol in my system right now. "But it's too late for that now, isn't it?"

He looked away and nodded to himself. I watched as he also took a swig off his own glass. I continued to sip daintily from mine while he was practically drowning himself in the red liquid. I couldn't stop him, though, because I wanted to do the same, to dull out my senses and start ignoring the actuality of our situation, of our sad pathetic love lives. I just wish I had something stronger, something like 100 proof vodka that would knock us both out and make us forget about everything terrible.

We were both stuck in the silence and whenever one of us tried to speak, it was though we were drudging ourselves through the awkwardness. This was obviously not how either of us envisioned ourselves after that kind of confession—if that's what we could call it anyway. I had, for all intents and purposes, coerced him into admission.

When I finally finished my glass—and he was halfway through his second—and when I could start feeling a semblance of a buzz in my mind, I spoke again, "I know about Meer."

He gulped. I could see with how the small bump of an Adam's apple on his throat moved. "Do you now?"

"Yeah." I reached for the bottle and refilled my glass. "That's why you were so defensive about her back then. I get it now, Athrun, I really do." I swirled the ceramic in my hand and watched as the not so viscous liquid swished back and forth, creating circular ripples as it settled. "I understand now how you could have asked her to marry you. But still, I don't—"

"Approve," he butted in. "I never asked you to."

I sighed. "You're practically marrying her out of _pity_, Athrun. If that's not sad, I don't know what is." Another drink. "I never believed in the sanctity of marriage because of the terrible mishap of a family situation Kira and I ended up in—or maybe it's because I never truly got to see marriage firsthand, but your parents filled in that gap for me and now what I do know is that when you marry someone, it's because you _love_ them." And another. "If we were being truly honest, Athrun, you don't love Meer. The same way you never loved Lacus or Meyrin."

"And you presume that you're the only person I've loved?" It was amusing how sardonic Athrun sounded. Despite his high tolerance for alcohol, the amount he consumed was obviously having an effect on him. "If that's not egotistic of you, I don't know what is."

"Hmm," I hummed, swirling the glass one more and inhaling the rich scent. "Look me in the eye and tell me you love Meer for who she is and that you're not marrying her out of pity because she could _die_ at any minute."

Without skipping a beat, "I love Meer for who she is and I'm not marrying her out of pity because she could die at any minute."

I gagged at his words. I wasn't expecting him to come through with saying that, but he did. It was starting to put doubt in my mind—did Athrun not love me as much as I thought? But then I remembered how pathetic Meer had looked when she was trying to intimidate me back at the dressers. It was so sad how she herself was insecure about her fiancé's feelings for her. It was even sadder how she was blind to Heine's feelings _for_ her.

I downed the rest of my wine and stood up, the sudden motion jolting my senses and almost making me trip over the stool. I supported my weight on the table. Athrun looked ready to jump out of his own seat to assist me, but I offered him a meek grin as I walked—wobbled, really—my way to the couch. My head throbbed and I tried to ease the pain by rubbing circles on my temple. I had a greater tolerance than this, I was sure, but I still consumed wine faster than I should have. This was bad. I checked the time on my phone and it was only about 9:30; I had only been with Athrun for a little over an hour—and seeing as no one had messaged me yet, that meant I had to stay longer. Though with my current level of sobriety, I wasn't sure for how long I could keep distracting Athrun.

The throbbing only worsened as I continued to think. I felt like crashing. I plopped myself onto Athrun's comfortable couch and as soon as my body relaxed on the dark leather, strong hands circled around my arms and made me sit up straight again. I grumbled, pushing my weight forward so I could lie down again, but Athrun was holding me back.

"You have to sit up. You don't want all that alcohol going to your head."

"You made me drunk."

"You wouldn't be like this if you didn't drink it all in a minute." He shook his head and replaced his hands to his side. "Hand over your phone. I'll call a cab for you."

"No!" Despite the terrible pounding in my head, I was awake and aware of my surroundings. I couldn't let Athrun get to my phone, not when I was waiting for someone's message to come through. "I just need water. Please."

Athrun nodded, though hesitant. As he went back to the kitchen, I took out my phone again to check the time. 9:35. Time was moving so slowly and I wanted the night to be over with. After tonight, Athrun should call off the wedding—unless Meer would somehow beat him to it. But still there was no message.

"Here you go." Athrun handed me the glass of non-alcohol which I gladly accepted. I drank at least half of the cup before I set it aside on the coffee table before me. Looking up, I saw Athrun with an amused smirk on his features, his eyes twinkling in delight. "I remember just how much of a horrible drunk you are."

"Oh, don't bring that up again," I groaned. "I remember apologizing to you for an entire week."

"Well, you _puked _on me."

"And I _apologized_."

"Thrice, Cagalli. You puked on me _thrice_."

"I was nineteen! People make bad decisions at nineteen!" And then I said in a more sober voice, "But when you think about it, people can still make bad decisions even when they're older. Nineteen, twenty-one, twenty-five." I referenced to his current age. "It doesn't seem to matter how old they are, does it? They'll continue to make decisions which aren't necessarily the best for anyone including themselves."

Athrun knew immediately what I was talking about because he was shaking his head. He sat down beside me and leaned back on the armrest.

"Cagalli," he said. "I'm going to push through with this wedding. I promised Meer that I would make her happy until..."

"But you're sacrificing your own happiness, Athrun." I frowned and reached for his hand. "_You_ deserve to be happy. Over the years that I've known you, you've always made me happy. You took me out when I was stressed from all my studies, despite having your own examinations and projects to deal with. You were there during my graduation and supported my dream of starting up my own business when it wasn't what my father intended for me. You were understanding when I was dating Yuna when you had feelings for me even then. After that fiasco with him, you were also there. You—you _loved_ me, Athrun." I only noticed that there were tears streaming down my face when my tongue tasted something salty. I was getting emotional—too emotional for my own comfort—but I had to get everything off my chest somehow. I had to say everything I could to try to convince him to stop his wedding. It was truly the only way. Even Lacus knew that because all her plans involved me facing Athrun. "And it's taken me so long to see how much you really meant to me, Athrun."

Athrun didn't answer, but he did entwine our fingers. I smiled at the small gesture. At the moment, his touch meant everything to me.

"Do you remember why we broke up, Athrun?"

I saw how he was unsure what to respond to my question. The answer was obviously _no_—because we never broke up. We never even got together in the first place. But for now, I wanted to pretend. That meant that we really had something more than our friendship to hold on to. That there really had been something between us.

And he understood. As he always had.

"Yeah," he said. "It was terrible, wasn't it?"

"It was terrible indeed," I agreed. "You were such a bad boyfriend. We were ten and you were flirting with the other girls in school when you promised to be with me forever."

"In my defense, they would come on to me."

"All those nasty rumors of you dating Mayura Labatt behind my back! And there I was, all young and innocent, believing the best of you."

"Yet despite everything, you stayed by my side."

"Because I was a kickass girlfriend."

"You were the best I ever had."

"I was the best you ever had," I repeated his words slowly. My eyes were still on our hands as he hadn't moved his away. "And yet you broke up with me. You still left me, Athrun. Without a word."

"I kissed you goodbye, hadn't I?"

"I wanted you to stay."

The words that were coming out of my mouth were things that I would _never_ say to anyone else. Maybe it was the alcohol in my system or maybe it was just Athrun himself. I didn't know what it was that was taking over me, possessing me to say these things, but somehow I didn't want to stop. I just wanted to go on with pretending with Athrun for as long as I could. I wanted all of this to be true.

And as I finally met Athrun's gaze once more, I knew he wanted everything to be true as well.

But sadly, _this_ wasn't our reality. I felt my phone vibrate through my pocket, pulling me back to the present. I didn't have to check the message; just having one was all the confirmation I needed because I blocked everyone else but one person.

"Heine is in love with Meer, Athrun," I said, pulling away. "He's been infatuated with her since they were young. He came to me to ask for a favor like you had all those years ago. He needed to talk to Meer, to try to convince her to back out of the wedding. Meer had already cheated on you with him while you two were engaged, you see, so this only encouraged Heine; but still, he wasn't sure if he was supposed to act because for one, you were his friend, and two, Meer really liked you. He only asked for one night, for me to distract you while he tried to sweep Meer off her feet—or more accurately, away from Aprilius."

It took a few seconds for Athrun to process what I had just informed him. He shook his head slowly, almost in disbelief, and there was confusion in his eyes. "What—what are you saying?"

"If you want to find them, my best bet would be October City. That's where they lived before Aprilius, where everything between them started." I took a deep breath. I didn't need my resolve wavering _now_. This was the end of the night. This was the end of my mission, Lacus and Meyrin's favor. And when I was done, I could finally leave. "I know you wanted to help Meer somehow. It's just you to be kind that way. But you didn't have to go that far, Athrun. Now you're free again. Maybe you find what I did repulsive, but I did it for _you_. Because I believe that you deserve to be happy; you deserve to find someone you can love."

I took Athrun's face in my shaking hands. There was a blank expression on his features; the light, the passion in his eyes that were perpetually present, wasn't there.

"Maybe one day you'll forgive me for being so selfish," I said, leaning forward and planting my lips on his for a second or two before pulling back. As I did, I looked away. I didn't want to know his reaction. I didn't want to see anything close to the adoration or affection he always held for me. And I didn't want to see him not react at all either. It was breaking my heart to leave him like this, but I couldn't stay any longer. I wouldn't know what else I would do if I did.

As I stood up from the sofa, though I was averting my gaze, I knew Athrun hadn't budged from his position. That was fine, I didn't need him chasing after me and making me change my mind all over again. I didn't need that kind of confusion again.

_I kissed you goodbye, hadn't I?_

"Goodbye, Athrun."

* * *

**Note:** I was bombarded with exams these past few weeks, so I'm sorry for the delay. I know you guys missed Athrun, so maybe this chapter was just the thing for you. Or not because of all the feelings involved, haha. Oh my. Please do tell me what you thought of this chapter! :)


	10. Home

**Why We Broke Up  
Chapter Ten: Home**  
by _tyrantsandcreampuffs_

* * *

Kira was not at the apartment when I got back. In the place of my half-brother was a note taped on the refrigerator door. His writing was reckless, as it always had been, and the strokes were marked with a sense of urgency. How much of an emergency was informing me that he was going to have dinner with Lacus?

I ripped the note off and crumpled it in my hands. There was a minute of hesitation as I racked my head for what to do. I was hoping that Kira would be here. He was my half-brother, he would have known how to comfort me somewhat, but he was out gallivanting with Lacus—who, right now, might as well be my worst enemy because by sabotaging Meer's engagement, she ruined me as well. I was in my most emotionally vulnerable state and I had no one to comfort me—not Kira, not Athrun.

Hot tears started spilling from my eyes. My chest constricted, tightening with every beat of my heart. The air around me seemed to become heavier; it was all too difficult to breathe. I crumpled down on the floor and started weeping—but _why_? How did it come to this?

I wanted to blame Lacus and Meyrin. I wanted to blame Heine, too. I wanted to blame Meer. I wanted to blame Athrun. I wanted to blame everyone else in the world who conspired against me, who led me to feeling this hopeless. I was okay with not being in love. I would have been okay if I didn't love Athrun. I would have lived the rest of my life blissfully unaware and that would have been more than fine—it would have been better than feeling like _this_.

Kira still wasn't home after an hour of mourning. He was probably going to spend the night with Lacus anyway. Slowly I got up and tried breathing normally again. It was a struggle, but I eventually walked the few meters to my room. I took out a suitcase and took to haphazardly packing, grabbing uncoordinated outfits just so I would have clothes to wear. I couldn't stay in Aprilius—it reminded me too much of Athrun, of what I had done. When the suitcase was finally full, I zipped it shut and put it on the floor.

I looked to my desk and saw Lacus's binders. All of them were meticulously written and planned out. She had multiple scenarios playing out, but still, Lacus was no clairvoyant. She couldn't have seen _this _coming. I took them all and threw them out. I didn't have a need for them anymore; the mission was complete. Athrun wouldn't be marrying Meer—but I didn't want to think about that anymore.

In one side of my room was a stack of boxes which I had never bothered to unpack. Those were from my father, who shipped personal memorabilia of mine when I convinced him I would be making a home out of Aprilius. I rummaged through the items until I found what I was looking for. I threw it in my bag, grabbed my favorite sweater and dragged my suitcase out of my apartment.

I didn't bother leaving a note. I didn't need to explain my actions to anyone. I was old enough to make my own decisions and I didn't need anyone telling me what to do anymore. This was the independence I asked from my father and I'd be damned if I let anyone else dictate what I would do. I had enough from Lacus, Meyrin and Heine asking for favors.

That was how I found myself on the midnight shuttle bound for Heliopolis. Normally it would have taken a few days to process my travelling permit, but being an Athha did have it perks. There were only ten people in the shuttle with me, and luckily none of them were anyone I knew. I slept through the entire trip, having exhausted myself from weeping the whole night. It took an hour and a half to get to my home colony, and when we arrived at the dock, my old chauffer, Ledonir Kisaka, was there waiting for me. I didn't know how he knew I was coming; they probably had me on some watch list for arrivals in Heliopolis. It didn't matter anyway. I just wanted to be away from all the drama; to go home, somewhere comforting.

I wanted to go to my father.

* * *

Not much changed in Heliopolis ever since I left. Father was as busy as ever with the company. When I'd come down in the mornings to join him for tea, he'd just be reading the newspaper, looking at the updated status of the different stocks in the Orb market. He didn't ask me why I was back in Heliopolis—which I was grateful for, really, because he was sparing me from the embarrassment of having to tell him of my terrible love life. He'd tell me to enjoy my day and head to the office. Nothing he did was out of the ordinary to me. Uzumi Nara Athha was known for his simple lifestyle—despite being one of the richest and most influential men, he retained his humility and lived in an average-sized housing unit. He could afford buying out a bigger lot—heck, he could afford creating another space colony if he wanted to.

I hadn't stepped out of the house for an entire week. I kept myself holed up in my room for the most part of my stay, not really wanting to interact with anyone else. If I was spotted outside, one of Lacus's contacts would probably alert her. I didn't need her persistence right now. Kira would have probably guessed that I had gone back to Heliopolis, but he wouldn't have the courage to contact my father and ask about it to confirm his theory.

I had turned off my phone after the first night when I received twenty-two missed calls. Half from Kira, some from Lacus and some from my employees as well. I only responded to my staff, telling them that I'd be on vacation for the next few weeks. I was aware of how I was putting my life on pause, of how I was dropping my responsibilities without so much a word to those who cared and would be affected. It was probably the most irresponsible thing I had done since college, but I couldn't quite function properly. I didn't know how to be normal—I didn't even know what normal was anymore. Normal was supposed to be me not having feelings for Athrun. Normal was supposed to be carrying on despite his engagement and inevitable marriage. Whatever I was going through right now definitely wasn't what I used to think was normal.

Myrna, my old caretaker, passed by once, on the third day. She was so pleased to see that I have grown into such a beautiful woman, but still expressed her disappointment that I hadn't grown any fondness for more feminine outfits. Kisaka, too, commented on how mature I'd become—but that was only because I wasn't trying to steal the car away from him anymore. Neither of them asked what I was doing back at Heliopolis.

On the fifth day, I was alone at the house yet again when the doorbell rang. I begrudgingly stood from my bed and answered the door. The mailman extended a small envelope, had me sign a small paper which said that the parcel had been received, and left on his bicycle. I closed the door behind me and flipped the envelope over to see who had sent it. It was addressed to my father, naturally, but I didn't need to look at the return address to know who it was from. The straightforward penmanship was more than enough for me to know that Athrun had sent it. I knew I shouldn't pry because it wasn't my mail, but my father always knew me to be inquisitive. I took his letter opener from the desk and ripped the side. A small piece of paper fell to the floor and I picked it up, opened the card and read the note. The wedding was officially off.

On the sixth day, Kira sent a letter, probably hoping that I was in Heliopolis. It said that he was still in Aprilius helping Athrun fix his broken engagement, cancelling everything and sending out notes to those who were previously invited. I'm sure the letter was meant to make me feel guilty and to coax me into coming back and facing the problem I 'started', but that was supposed to be Lacus's problem and not mine. She was the one with the idea to stop the engagement, not me.

Now it was the seventh day since I left and I still hadn't done anything worthwhile or remotely productive. I was still in my room, moping like a sixteen year old whose crush asked someone else to prom. Deciding to check back into reality, I turned on my phone. I had over a hundred missed calls and about fifty messages, the latest ones all from Lacus. I shook my head and scrolled through the phone log. Lacus. Lacus. Lacus. Lacus. Kira. Meyrin. Lacus. Lacus. Kira. Lacus. And on and on the log went until my eyes landed on the name of one person I didn't think would contact me: Meer.

I immediately went through my texts, checking if she had said anything. Again, the topmost were mostly from Lacus; some were from Kira and the others were from my disgruntled employees expressing their annoyance with their boss. Finally, Meer's message appeared and I pressed to read on.

_Cagalli_, it said, _thank you_.

Three words. They were all I was going to get from Meer. She wasn't angry with me, but instead grateful. This was not normal. Normal was supposed to be Meer hating every inch of me. Normal was Meer telling me off and generally intimidating me. Meer thanking me _wasn't_ anywhere near normal.

But this was the consequence of my actions. And this was what I was going to have to get used to now.

* * *

"Seven days, Cagalli." I looked up from my dinner. I was pushing aside the broccoli when my father spoke, his deep voice reverberating with authority. "You've been here for seven days without speaking to me about your reasons."

"My reasons?"

"Why you're here."

"I think you already know."

"I want to hear it from you."

I huffed and pierced my fork through the green vegetable. I was dreading this inevitable conversation with my father, but he wasn't going to let me get away with not saying anything. He believed in honesty above everything. That's why he told me at such a young age—before I could truly comprehend anything—about the truth of the circumstance of my biological parents, about me having a half-brother. Father had always told me the truth, especially of how he wanted me to take over the company. I inherited my sense of candor from my father—and that honesty led me to where I was now with regards to Athrun.

"I'm here because," I started with a cough. "Because us Athhas appear to be romantically cursed."

Father rolled his eyes and proceeded with slicing his steak. "You know, Cagalli, it's not so much of a curse as it is the product of bad decisions."

"And I make such great choices, don't I?"

"Yes, especially your choice to open my mail the other day." My eyes widened and I dropped my fork with surprise. I cursed, to which my father frowned, and picked up the dirtied utensil. "It was delivered to my office first and as soon as I knew what it was, I forwarded it here, but I never saw it with the rest of my mail."

I gritted my teeth. I had forgotten how my father, too, could be cunning.

"What do you want me to say, Father?" I slumped over my chair—again, he expressed his disdain for my bad posture—and sighed. "Someone made me realize that I might have feelings for Athrun. He was supposed to get married. I had a hand in the breaking of his engagement. That's all there is to it."

He was silent as he absorbed the vague details of what I had done. I was expecting him to shake his head and tell me that what I had done was very selfish and that I should go back to Aprilius to fix the damage I had done, but instead he burst into laughter.

"You're my daughter, all right," he chortled, wiping a tear from his eye. I was so confused with his reaction—what the hell was my father doing, laughing at the terrible thing I had done like it was so trivial! "I bet you didn't know that I had done the same thing to your mother."

"_What_?" I screeched. This was new information to me.

"Your mother, Via, she was about to get married to Ulen Hibiki when I reached out to her. I told her how I felt and said that she would be happier with me. But she was so attached to him that she had never eyes for anyone else. When Ulen started becoming too invested in his own work and neglected his wife, Via reached out to me eventually—and that's when we had you."

"I never liked listening to you prod on about your affair with my birthmother," I said. "You constantly remind me of how marriages aren't foolproof."

"If you already knew that, then why did you bother with Athrun and his fiancée?"

"Because I didn't want him—_them_—to be miserable for the rest of their lives. Don't give me that look; I would have done it for Athrun even if I didn't have feelings for him."

"Meer Campbell is the niece of Gilbert Dullindal, isn't she?" Father began rubbing his chin and I couldn't help but smile because he was looking like an old man. His brown hair was definitely graying now and the wrinkles on his face were more defined than I've ever seen them. "I bet he's also trying to make amends on his side as well. He had invited me to be a principal sponsor, but I declined because I knew how you would feel about it."

"And how was I supposed to feel about it, Father?"

He smirked, ever somber. It was this way that he showed affection. He always acted detached, always employing professional courtesy—even to his own daughter most of the time. But on quiet moments like this, he would willingly let his guard down.

"You probably don't remember this," he began, "But you often cried when I said you couldn't go play with Athrun. You ran away from home twice to play with him, Cagalli. You were stubborn then and you are even more stubborn now. After Athrun left, you didn't want to play with anyone else."

"Because I couldn't get along with the girls and the other boys didn't like having their butts whooped by a girl in sports."

"You can give excuses all you want, but Athrun was special to you. No one could have taken his place." Father took a gulp of water and continued, "In your first few weeks of university, all you did was study. You were awake every time I came back home and you were _reading_."

"Hey!" I interrupted defensively. "I actually wanted to achieve something for once!"

"I honestly thought that you would be even more rebellious in college."

"Well, you taught me to take my education seriously."

"But I also wanted you to _enjoy_. Thankfully Athrun came along and helped you make the best out of your college experience. That was the happiest I've ever seen you, Cagalli."

What Father said had me deep in thought. I tried to rack my head for memories, but I couldn't think of any other time I was happier than when I was with Athrun. He was engaged with Lacus back then, but we didn't think too much of it when we were together—and when he did tell me the truth about their arrangement, I thought about it even less. Perhaps I was selfish even back then because I genuinely enjoyed his company. After college, our friendship only became more complicated. There was a distance between us and we weren't as available for each other as before. That, and we started seeing other people as well. I had Yuna and he had Meyrin and Meer.

"I don't want anyone stealing away my only daughter, but if there was a person anywhere near worthy, it would most likely be Athrun."

After we finished eating, I excused myself and went to bed. I kept mulling it over, my next steps; what I would do once I got back to Aprilius—because I couldn't run away from reality forever and I had to go back _eventually_. The café could run itself without me because of the efficiency of my staff, but my personal affairs were a completely different matter. Kira would be angry, but he'd forgive me. Lacus would seek me out and try to make me tell her what happened. Meyrin would most likely be there when Lacus confronted me; that girl was just as curious, I'm sure. Meer and Heine wouldn't be going back to Aprilius for a while; I saw how the gossip columns headlined the news—_Top Model and Socialite Entrepreneur elope, leaves behind heartbroken fiancé_.And Athrun…

I fell asleep thinking of him.

* * *

I was in the library, looking through one of the required chapters to read for one project management course I was taking—and said course had an exam in two days. I had been faring well enough to hope for a possible exemption for the finals, so I had to do better in my next test. Athrun had been trying to contact me the whole afternoon, but I left my phone inside my bag so that I would have zero distractions from studying.

"There you are!" A hand reached out for my book and shut it close before pulling the textbook away. I looked up and saw that Athrun felt no remorse for taking it away because he was grinning like an idiot while I was dying with all the stress. I tried stealing my book back, but as soon as I put my hand up, he placed the thick textbook behind him, even farther away from my grasp. "You're studying! That's something new."

"No, it's not." I tried to glare at him, but my attempt to look angry with him was futile; I was too tired from worrying over my grades to keep up a pretense. "I _am_ a student, you know?"

"You've been ignoring my messages."

"I was studying!"

"You call that studying?" he scoffed. "Your eyes were half-closed." He opened the marked page of my book and looked back to me. "What's the coverage of this section?"

"I don't know, profit margins?"

He shook his head and laughed—I wanted to tell him off myself, but the librarian instead rang the bell that signaled the students—only Athrun, really—that they were reaching their noise threshold. He then smiled apologetically at the aging woman—who, like the rest of the female population, let him have his way just with the quirk of his lips. I rolled my eyes at his cheap trick. It could work on others, but I wasn't going to fall for his charm.

"Come on, Cagalli," he said, grabbing my bag and then my arm. "You need a break."

"What I need is to _study_!" I protested, but I really was too worn-out to fight him. When we stepped out of the main doors of the library, he loosened his grip, allowing me to slide my arm away from his hand. Athrun had stopped moving and instead looked like he was in some trance. I was more awake now, but just by a fraction more. I still wanted to go back inside and sit on the comfortable chair and read until I did fall asleep, but I was outside with Athrun, looking like a lost idiot. "Athrun?"

He didn't answer me. Instead, he was staring blankly at the rain before us. I stood, fidgeting in place, as I waited for him to respond—and eventually, he did.

"It was raining when I met you again," he said. I saw Athrun smile—the same smile I promised to myself I would never fall for—to himself. "You know, Cagalli, I'm really glad I met you."

His gaze met mine and it was the first time I saw him look at me with a certain intensity that jolted my senses awake. I blinked, blushed, and looked away. Athrun reached for my wrist—this time his hold was more delicate—and made me face him.

"I'm not going to say cheesy things like that to acknowledge our friendship," I told him, hoping that he couldn't feel my fast pulse beating against his fingertips and that my face wasn't too red. "You dragged me out of the library, so I might as well go along with whatever you have for me. What are we going to do?"

Athrun kept a big grin on his face as he placed my textbook and sling bag in his own bigger—_waterproof_—rucksack. Then, he held on to my wrist once more. His eyes twinkled with mischievousness as he took a step closer to me. There had never before been such a small gap between us and the proximity of our bodies was something that scared and confused me at the same time.

"We're going to run," he whispered in my ear. And before I could register what was happening, he was pulling me out into the downpour and we were both sprinting on the wet pavement, splashing water on our legs; getting wet and laughing at how silly we looked.

We stopped when we reached the next shed. There were other students giving us queer looks, but neither of us minded. We were both still giggling like the children we used to be.

"Do you remember?" he turned to me in the midst of his chuckles. "We used to play in the rain all the time."

I nodded. "Aunt Lenore would get angry with us because we'd come inside your house all dirty and wet."

His eyes softened at the mention of his mother; but behind his wistfulness was something else. There was something in the way Athrun was looking at me that made my heart skip a beat.

It was the first time I thought Athrun was beautiful.

"One more time?" he offered, looking handsome with youth as he grinned. I beamed right back at him and grabbed his hand, this time taking the lead as we ran into the storm together.

* * *

**Note:** College!Athrun is my favorite to write. :) It's been two weeks or so since I last updated, so thank you for being patient with me! Currently it's hell week in my university. I have four exams over the weekend and then my finals begin next week. I should be studying! (Like Cagalli, haha!) But you, my beloved readers, deserve an update for supporting this story! I appreciate any and all kind messages to get me through this tough week. :)


	11. Nonsense

**Why We Broke Up  
Chapter Eleven: Nonsense  
**by _tyrantsandcreampuffs_

* * *

"It will be different with you gone," I said with a wistful smile. My hands were on my side, clutching at the fabric of my plain dress just to have something to hold on to. "But I couldn't be prouder of you." There were a few medals around his neck, symbols of all his achievements during college—all of them he fully deserved. He was brilliant and I knew he would do a good deal more wherever he went. "Congratulations, Athrun."

He looked like he was struggling with his own words, as though there was something at the tip of his tongue that he couldn't quite say. He'd had that expression countless times before and it was definitely one of the things I was going to miss the most about him.

It seemed that he changed his mind again and raised his arms, the long sleeves of his toga uniform rising limply along with the motion. "I look ridiculous, don't I?"

"It doesn't matter how you look now—the ceremony's over."

"Then let me rephrase that: I _looked_ ridiculous, didn't I?"

In place of words, a fitful of giggles came streaming out. He groaned and ran a hand over his face, embarrassed. Athrun had looked quite silly with his attire—it was one size too large for him and looked too baggy to be proper for such a formal occasion. The crowd had been surprised to see the valedictorian step out looking like Athrun had. His father, Patrick Zala, who had sat beside me during the commencement exercise, had only shook his head at his son's mild indecency.

"But seriously," Athrun coughed, allowing me a few seconds to stop laughing, "I…I'm going to miss you, Cagalli."

"It will be different with you gone," I repeated, this time with more conviction. Ever since I met Athrun again, my life felt like it was much more than it could have been without him. He had brought about a certain change—he was the constant I relied upon to get through everything from academics to…well, everything. He was the only friend that ever mattered to me—which was the truth from even before university. Athrun was important to me because he understood me better than anyone else. I held onto my dress again, the feeling of inadequacy washing over me. It wasn't fair—Athrun was supposed to be the one who looked _silly_. "But I'll be graduating in a year, too, so we'll see each other again pretty soon."

"You'll be my boss, most likely," he laughed. Then, his eyes wandered. Around us, all the graduates were celebrating with their loved ones: family, relatives; friends. Lacus should have been here for Athrun, too, but she was busy touring on earth. She had sent a bouquet—_real_ manly—with a bottle of wine. The note was curt, but I wasn't too surprised after Athrun had told me the truth of their relationship. Kira would have gone had it not been for a short-notice project given to him by one of his professors under Morgenroete, the leading company in technological advances based in Heliopolis. That left me and his father to attend his graduation, so if it wasn't me he was searching for in the sea of people, it was his only living relative left. "Do you see him?"

"I think he went to smoke on the side," I said unsurely. "You want to go find him?"

"He'll find me when he has to," Athrun answered with a shake of his head. Then, he gave me a goofy grin. "Right now, I'd rather talk to you. I won't be seeing you for months. That must be torture for you."

"_Ha ha_." I rolled my eyes at him. "That must be torture for _you_. You're the one who becomes clingy and cheesy and everything cliché."

Instead of replying, Athrun threw his arms around me. With his proximity, it felt like I had been _filled_ with him. I was acutely aware of his presence—of his scent, his being. His hands stilled on my back, on the space between my waist and shoulders. It took me a while to recompose myself and return his gesture. I let go of my dress—the fabric now crumpled—and wound my arms over his shoulders.

We stayed still for a few more moments, until there was a bright flash from somewhere beside us and Athrun pushed me away as gently as he could with his state of surprise.

Patrick Zala was standing there, the small chunk of metal of a camera in his hands. Ever since Lenore passed away, he wore an impassive face—even Athrun told me that not much changed over the years when it came to his father—but now, there was a small smirk playing on his aged lips.

"Children," he remarked with the slightest hint of bemusement. "You grow up so fast."

* * *

Aside from my clothes, there was only one thing I picked up from my apartment in Aprilius before 'running away'—it was a photo album with all my memories from college. Not surprisingly, Athrun took up more than half of it.

I still didn't see how I could have missed it for so long. Was Athrun in love with me all this time? Was I in love with him even then? I couldn't stop thinking about the _how_. I had gone over it so many times in my head over the past week but my mind would always come up blank. When it came to Athrun, nothing made sense anymore.

There was a picture of Athrun and Lacus when she had visited another time, of Athrun sleeping on the couch at the library, of Athrun tweaking with a mechanical device in one of his laboratories. There were also pictures of the other friends I made, the people in my course whom I didn't get along with as well as I did with Athrun, but they were still part of my college experience. There were pictures of parties, study sessions, student-organized competitions, and so on. But Athrun was in almost all of them. Except for the last year where I had dived into my studies so that I could bring my grades up in time for graduation, he was always present.

My eyes landed on the last picture of us before he went off to Aprilius City after accepting a job offer from Minerva. His father had taken it and then gave me a copy, patting my head like I was still some child, and thanked me for being a good friend to his son. We were hugging in this picture and really looked like a couple. A lot of people who were unaware of his engagement to Lacus Clyne mistook us for being more than friends. I had always laughed them off, insisting that nothing was happening and would ever happen between the two of us. Perhaps even then I had hurt Athrun's feelings with those words.

Athrun was the one thing that defined my college life. Whenever I thought of university, I would think of him. And then I would think of the life beyond the confines of the gated school, of the present we landed ourselves on, of the lives we built for ourselves—Athrun's at Minerva while I had my own café. We had been so close to each other that I couldn't separate myself from him—not anymore, I couldn't. I could run away for the rest of my life, but I would never be truly rid of my feelings for him.

I placed the album back on my desk and threw my head back onto my soft pillow. I wanted to scream, to shout, to let all of this frustration out; but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even find the resolve to finally face Athrun after all the drama I'd thrown myself in when I agreed to help Lacus and Meyrin. Or perhaps I was already involved even before then? Meer had been insecure because of me, after all. Yuna, too, had disliked Athrun because of my attachment to him. Perhaps the two of us had been tangled in each other for longer than I've been aware of—and the thought wasn't exactly the most comforting.

A knock on the door prompted me to sit up once again. I walked the short few meters to the edge of my bedroom until my hand reached out for the knob. Opening it, I saw the broad figure of my father out of his suit and in lounge clothes instead. It used to be a funny sight for me as a child, the image of my father in anything but formal attire had been hilarious; but now it was nothing out of the ordinary as I finally came to terms with the fact that my father was indeed human and not a mechanical robot made to operate for business.

"You want to have dinner with me?" he offered as I walked back to my bed. "I came home early because I'll be heading to Copernicus for a three-day conference tomorrow."

"Oh." I was no stranger to my father leaving for days—sometimes even weeks—at a time. He was a busy man, as I've always known him, and one day he wanted me to be as busy as him with the company. "I'll be down in a bit, then."

Instead of walking out, he stepped in and closed the door behind him. His actions confused me and I had to do a double-take just to make sure that he was actually there inside my room and hadn't left at me agreeing to eat with him.

"Do you think you're ready to finally become an adult, Cagalli?"

"I already am." I huffed, offended. "As far as I know, I became an adult as soon as I graduated and started working to earn my own money. I afforded my own lifestyle—with no help from you except for providing the initial capital I needed."

He shook his head. "You have greater responsibilities than that."

"I _am_ an adult, Father! If you want me to go back to the company, then fine, I will!" My breathing became more rugged with every word. "I'm ready now, I swear. I've been running away from my responsibility as your heir, I know, and now—now I'll face it."

It took a while for my erratic breathing to calm itself. My father was silent at my outburst and I didn't want to look at him because I didn't want to know his reaction. Was he finally appeased or disappointed?

"As much as that pleases me, Cagalli," he started after a while. "That's not what I meant."

I met his dark eyes and he was looking at me like a father looked over his child, not as a mentor staring down his successor. _Oh_, I finally understood what he was talking about—and it didn't make me smile one bit.

"I'll get to _that_, too." My fists were balled up and I wanted to hold on to something—_anything_. I was pretty sure I had anger management issues now after all that pent up frustration. I wanted to punch something or make something explode. But in the presence of my father, I couldn't really show any of those violent tendencies. "I will. I just need another day or two."

At that, he smiled. He walked up to me and held his arms out. I took the few steps into my father's consoling arms and relaxed as he hugged me. I had never known my mother, but the fact that I never felt a lack of love and affection from my one and only parent was something that amazed me every time I thought about my biological mother. My father was always enough—he was more than enough.

When we parted, he pressed a kiss on my forehead—a gesture I'd always found comforting.

"Come downstairs when you're ready, Cagalli."

I turned to look at the photos once more. For the first time since I left Aprilius, I thought I finally was.

* * *

When it was all finished, I let out a breath of relief and sat on one of the chairs.

"Is it all okay, ma'am?"

I nodded, too ecstatic to properly form words. It was everything I've ever dreamed of. I looked at the red and browns, marveling at the beautiful complementary shades. It was all—_perfect_. From the cushioned seats, the glossy finish on the wood of the tables, the vinyl photographs on the wall—it was all beautiful to me. The food display beside the register was still empty, but once I opened in a few days it would surely be filled with pastries and cakes that I would bake. Behind the counter were state-of-the-art machines—all designed to make the best coffee in the area. The small kitchen beyond the wall was even more advanced, with ovens and stoves all new and polished and waiting to be used to cook food perfectly paired with different kinds of coffee.

It was a dream come true for me, but I wouldn't have done it without so many people. Miriallia Haw, one of my friends from secondary school who went on to become a renowned photographer, was the one to help me design the interior. My father had supplied me with all the capital I needed from my trust fund. Kira had been ever supportive as well, promptly responding to my calls and messages when I asked which machine was the best for my purposes. And Athrun… He was the only reason I ever dreamed of this in the first place.

I was swelling with pride. I had finally accomplished something, started up my own baby of a business. It was far from the path my father had envisioned for me, but thankfully he was more supportive of my wild venture than I expected him to be. I had an inkling of a feeling that Athrun had talked to him about it, but I couldn't think of that. I had brushed off all my memories of that _incident_ because it was so terribly complicated. We were friends—why had we kissed?

I shook my head to rid myself off those thoughts for the nth time. Today was supposed to be _my_ day. I'm supposed to be happy. I _am_ happy.

If that night hadn't happened, Athrun would be here. He would probably choose to sit on the booth I designed to imitate the ones in the café near our university where we spent countless afternoons eating our hearts out and satiating my caffeine fix. He'd tell me that I'd done a good—_great_, _amazing, fantastic_—job and that he couldn't be prouder of me.

"Ma'am?" Caught up in my thoughts, I failed to notice that the last worker hadn't left with the others. He was staring at me oddly with what looked like concern. My brows furrowed; _why_ was he looking at me like that? "Sorry, ma'am, is just—you're crying."

_Oh_. I brought a hand up to wipe away the tear that was streaming down from one eye. I gave the man a small smile to reassure him that I was fine. "No, I'm sorry; I guess I was just carried away."

"Is okay, ma'am," he replied, grinning. "You must be happy that you've your business up and ready to go. You wouldn't be the first my team's seen to cry at the end of the installations."

"Right." I nodded along and finally stood, stretching my tired limbs. I had helped carry what I could and walking around the whole day with heavy loads was definitely not what I'd signed up for, but was necessary to finish everything by today. "Well, thank you so much."

"No worries, ma'am." He tipped his cap and picked up all of his tools before walking ahead to the front door. "Have a good night."

I maintained my smile until he exited, but my lips fell into a frown as soon as his shadow left the new tiles. He didn't have to know the true reason why I had cried.

_Have a good night_—somehow I just knew that tonight was going to mean me being plagued with thoughts of Athrun, who's always been kind and gentle and understanding, kissing all my fears away.

* * *

After a nice dinner with my father wherein neither of us broached any heavy topic, I went back to my room more refreshed than a long shower could do. There was a clarity in my thoughts now. It didn't have to make sense—as long as it mattered, it should be enough for me to act on it. And right now Athrun was the only thing that mattered. His feelings, which I had left unrecognized for so long, _mattered_.

I turned on my phone on again and this time the number of missed calls and messages wasn't as many as there were a few days ago. Perhaps Kira and Lacus were satiated with the fact that I was safe with my father and not recklessly lost somewhere on earth. Meyrin had also stopped contacting me, probably after Lacus had told her not to worry as much. I didn't expect another message from Meer or Heine, but I hoped that they were both happy wherever they were now. Even my own employees had taken less to harassing me—Kira had probably handled some of the issues on my behalf.

But there was one person who, after everything that happened, hadn't contacted me.

_Athrun Zala_. His name was bright on the screen on my phone. His name—it brought lurches to my stomach, hitches to my lungs; hiccups to my heart. He was making me feel things now that I'd never felt with him before—and he wasn't even physically present. I couldn't imagine how much more damage he'd do to my senses if he was actually around.

He had been reaching out to me all these years. Now, I suppose, it was my turn to do the same.

The phone rang once. Twice. Thrice.

"Athrun?"

* * *

**Note:** I'm so sorry for the delay and the short length, but I had exams and exams and exams. Now, it's summer for me, which means I have more time to write! Which must be a good thing for you readers and a bad thing for me because of all the pressure to complete this story. :p But we aren't far; just a few more chapters to wrap things up and we're all good! The song which inspired me to write this chapter was _Nonsense _by _Madeon_.

Now, which one do you guys want me to write next: a sequel of sorts to _Flowers For A Ghost_ or a prequel to _Darling So It Goes_? :)


	12. Coffee

**Why We Broke Up**  
**Chapter Twelve: Coffee**  
by _tyrantsandcreampuffs_

* * *

"Here's your coffee."

I took a sniff of the steaming drink, inhaling the rich aroma of the caffeinated beverage. They shipped their beans all the way from the earth—as the owner tended to be quite particular with the taste of his product. Andrew Waltfeld only came out from behind the bar every once in a while, and today it was because he was relieving his pregnant wife of waiting duties.

"Thanks, Andy," I greeted him back. While I could argue with him on matters such as what sauce was best to put on kebabs, I couldn't dispute that his coffee was the best I've had in my entire life—and it was exactly what I needed after a week of staying up late, doing my thesis. "This is wonderful. Really."

"And it's even better that it's on the house." He sent a wink to my direction and lingered at the booth I sat in. "Hadn't seen you in a while, kid. What's going on with you?"

"Oh, you know, just university stuff. Working on my thesis, yearbook write-ups and everything else one has to worry about when supposedly graduating."

"Are you worried you won't be able to graduate?"

"Not at all." At least that was one of the things I was quite confident about. "It's just…imagining life _after_ all of this is what's getting to me. I'm not sure what I want to do after I get my degree."

"You want my advice?" Andy invited himself onto the seat across me—not that he really needed an invitation; he owned the café, after all—and gave a reassuring smile. "I say just go do what you want. You have years ahead of you, kid, and you shouldn't be wasting the best of them worrying. Back on earth, I was a soldier—you could just imagine how senseless the people there are, waging wars on almost every other country; makes you love the peace here in space, but anyway—I was a soldier and I was worried that I could die at any moment I was on the field. It really had me thinking about what I always wanted to do with my life."

"And what was that?"

"This." He motioned to the entirety of his shop. "I loved making coffee. I thought it was the best thing in the world; it was an art-form that had to be mastered. The other soldiers I was stationed with always asked me to fix them up—made me feel like I was a secretary in an office rather than a combatant." At that, I laughed. "And I loved a girl up here in space. I quit as soon as I could, to be with her and to finally start up this place."

"That's a rather sweet story," I commented. This was the first time I ever heard this tale from Andy himself. Athrun had theorized that Andy was a veteran because of the blemishes that covered his arms—most noticeably the scar that marred his left eye; but we both agreed that it would be a bit rude to ask upfront. "Sadly, not everyone's at liberty to just forge their own path."

"And why not?" I couldn't think of a way to explain and instead took a deep breath and exhaled rather loudly. Andy bobbed his head in understanding. "Ah, well, I don't know how it is to be the daughter of one of the wealthiest men in the galaxy, Miss _Athha_, but I'll tell you something because we're both in the business of doing business—or at least, you'll soon be, after you graduate." He leaned closer, his good eye squinting and his overall demeanor becoming grave. Andy had always acted lighthearted, but this is a different side I was seeing in front of me now. "Asking for everyone's approval will get you nowhere. At the end of the line, what matters is your happiness. Believe me, I've had enough of my friends die without seeing their lives come to fruition."

I took in what he said and nodded. "Maybe one day I'll get there. Thanks, Andy."

"Anything for my favorite blonde customer!" he answered, back to his more sunny disposition. "Now, how's Athrun doing?"

The mention of Athrun's name brought an unconscious smile on my face. It had been almost a year since we last saw each other—and while he sent a message every now and then updating me of how he was doing, it really wasn't the same. I missed him and there was something gnawing at my chest as I thought if he missed me as well.

"Last I heard, he finally got a promotion at Minerva."

"And he only graduated less than a year ago, didn't he?"

"Yeah." I smiled a bit. "Athrun's brilliant. It makes me wonder if I'll ever be as good as him."

"Well, it's just my opinion, but I think you're a pretty great girl yourself, kid. Honestly, your feistiness reminds me of when Aisha was younger." Andy gave a cheeky grin. "And it's good that you two are still looking out for each other, even though he's not here in Heliopolis anymore."

"We really wouldn't have it any other way." I brought the mug back to my lips and let the taste of coffee roll over my tongue. I was content and comfortable—until Andy had to ask: "So how long have you two been dating?"

And then I choked on my drink. The coffee sputtered out of my lips and I spaced out for a good second before reaching out for the roll of tissues set aside on the corner of the table. Andy himself looked like he was caught off guard by my reaction—or possibly by the fact that I had spilled some of his coffee.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern on his features, but I wasn't registering his worries. Rather, the only thing I was thinking of was how Andy had assumed that Athrun and I were dating all these years.

"We aren't together!"

"You're not?"

"No!" I felt like I was being _too_ defensive. "Athrun and I—no, _never_!"

"You could have fooled everyone whenever you two were here." The bell attached to the door chimed, signaling the entry of new customers. Andy had to return to the counter to take their orders, so he moved to stand up, but he looked like he was on the verge of breaking out into laughter. "Now, if you need a slice of cake to go with your coffee, just come up to me and ask, alright? It's still my treat."

"Yeah, whatever." My lips were in a pout and my arms were crossed in front of my chest. After he had gone, I was still absolutely _appalled_ at the notion that Andy was mistaken about Athrun and me.

_Athrun and I—no, never!_

It would turn out that I was wrong as well.

* * *

I was anxious in the booth by myself—that was the reason why I barely passed by the café anymore. It just felt wrong without Athrun sitting in front of me, reading a paragraph from a textbook while simultaneously taking down notes. He wasn't there to laugh at any story I told of something I did in class or to dispense advice about my calculations for a requirement. He was off working, making a name for himself; and while I was proud of him, I still couldn't help but feel lonely this past year.

Graduation was tomorrow and I was having the jitters. Athrun and Kira were arriving tomorrow, and so was my father. It was too late at night to bother any of them, so I decided to drive out of the campus and head to Andy's café for a good, relaxing cup of coffee. There were only a few other people in the small establishment—and none of them I recognized to be among my batch. Everyone was probably resting up because it was supposedly a big day tomorrow, but I couldn't find respite. I didn't know how to tell my father that I didn't want to go into his business—at least, not yet.

My thoughts were racing in my mind and I couldn't quite keep track of all of them. I was only acutely aware of how I was spacing out and that the untouched mug in front of me was starting to cool down. I wanted to make my father proud; he had always planned for me to inherit the company one day—but his idea of 'one day' was within three years of my graduating. I'd always known him to be so busy and while the idea of it was appealing, I just didn't see myself being so young and always so out of touch from all of my friends. I wanted to be _normal_, for once.

"Hey." A voice brought me out of my reverie. "Is this seat taken?"

When I looked up, I could have jumped out of my chair and thrown myself onto the person before me. It was _Athrun_. Athrun, who was due to arrive _tomorrow_ and not _now_; who was exactly whom I needed. I wanted to hug him, but he was already moving to sit down across me. And he was looking a little bit too haggard himself to return my affections. I was starting to become more conscious of how I was the only one between the two of us who was _beaming_, my smile practically reaching my eyes—but I couldn't help it.

"You're happy," he noted, flashing a grin of his own. "Missed me, didn't you?"

"Don't get too cocky," I answered back playfully, finally taking the mug in my hands. The warmth of it seeped through the ceramic and I felt myself loosening up, especially with Athrun now here. "I bet you missed me more."

"I probably did," he admitted rather straightforwardly. "But that's not what I'm going to argue about with you right now. What are you doing here? Your graduation ceremony's a few hours away. Shouldn't you be resting?"

"And what about you?" I asked back. "Why are you here? Kira told me you two were supposed to be arriving at the same time tomorrow morning."

"Don't try to turn the tables on me now. I asked you a serious question, Cags."

"I told you to stop calling me that years ago!"

"Stop trying to misdirect me!" His eyes were showing a hint of annoyance, but I could still see that he wasn't going to be angry with me. "We haven't even been reunited for ten minutes and we're already arguing." Then, his expression softened. "I missed you so much."

"Well, I missed you, too," I finally said. "I'm here because I couldn't sleep."

"And you decided to consume caffeine so that you couldn't sleep even more?"

"This is _decaffeinated_," I corrected, bringing up my mug. When I lowered it back down, I looked away from his gaze. "I just can't help thinking about what I'm supposed to do next. After I graduate and everything. You had that job offer from Minerva a year before you graduated and you've always known what you wanted to accomplish there. I don't know if I really want to be part of my father's business or if I'm just willing to accept the position because it's what's always been expected of me."

Athrun had an even more pensive look on his face than mine. He had his knuckle under his chin as he was thinking of what to say to me. He always did that whenever he was trying to be rational in his thought process. "You can start by telling your father about your dilemma."

"I can't do that," I argued. "That's..._stupid_."

"It's only stupid because you think it is," he refuted. "Working with actual idiots taught me that long-term solutions are really just little ideas in the beginning."

"He's not going to understand!"

"He might not at first, but he'll try for your sake," Athrun said, his tone reassuring. "Trust me, he loves you more than enough to understand."

I pouted my lips and leaned my chin on my palm as my elbow rested on top of the table. I stared up at Athrun, who was just giving me a warm smile. "He'll probably call me a spoiled child."

"He might, he might not; you'll never know until you actually talk to him. Why are you so scared anyway? I think you're lucky that you have someone who will love you no matter what choices you make."

I gave him a bland look. I didn't know what to say and I wasn't really in the mood to debate the merits of talking to my father about my issues. It had been more or less a year since I last saw Athrun in person and I felt a twinge of guilt as I remembered that I'd been offloading my problems to him for the entirety of our reunion. It probably wasn't what Athrun expected to arrive to when he came back to Heliopolis—and he still hadn't answered my question about why he was _here_ earlier than I thought—so I was going to try to turn the conversation around for his sake.

"Athrun," I called out. "Why are you here?"

He looked confused. "I'm here for your graduation."

"Yeah, but why are you _here_? In this booth, in this café?"

"We're _always_ here, Cagalli."

"No, _I'm_ always here. You haven't been here for a year."

He thought for a while and then smiled again. "Because _you_'re here."

* * *

It felt surreal to be back in the café after so long. The last time I was here had been years ago—right before my graduation. I could recall spending the entire morning with Athrun, ending with me barely getting any sleep in before the ceremony began. It felt like such a long time ago, but at the same time it felt like no time had passed. The benches in the booth were still upholstered with that weird orange leather Andy was so fond of, the walls were still a dull yellow and the coffee was still phenomenal.

"Hey, kiddo," Andy greeted me as soon as I came up to the counter. "Haven't seen you in a while now."

"Yeah, I've been doing this thing called being an adult; you should try it out sometime."

The tan-skinned man rolled his eyes. "I heard your venture in the adult world is giving our coffee a run for its money."

"I have my expensive espresso machine to thank for that," I teased back. "But your recipe can't be outdone by machine alone, I'm afraid."

"_I_ would never trust something as delicate as coffee to a hunk of metal alone," he admonished, bringing his nose up and crinkling it in disdain. "Competition aside, I'm glad you've finally figured it out, kid. What made you decide to start your own cafe, of all things?"

I smiled wistfully. "It was Athrun, actually."

"Athrun?"

"That booth we frequented whenever we were here before—I wanted my own version of it that wouldn't require me going all the way to Heliopolis," I answered truthfully.

"You wanted a home away from home, I see. Couldn't you have just gone to a local café?"

"I wanted my own place. There were a few..._difficulties_ I had faced that pushed me to finally diverge from my father's path." I internally shuddered as I recalled the nightmare that was Yuna. I only left the company after he had cheated on me—and after that came the whole mess between Athrun and me. Thinking about it now, maybe I should thank him and send him a bouquet one of these days. "Athrun was the one who always encouraged me to do what I wanted, so I finally did it."

"So you two are together now?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, a coy look on his aged face.

"No, no." I could only shake my head. "It's complicated."

"It couldn't be _that _complicated."

"Oh?" I was riled up by his simplification of Athrun and my ordeal. It was beyond complicated—it was all so convoluted, problematic; it was as if the universe rose its entropy to a maximum. That was how much of a mess it was. And while I knew Andy hadn't meant ill, I still couldn't stand the idea that it could be _simple_. I'd kept it in for a long time, and I just had to say _something_. "After graduating, I worked for my father—I know, I know; I should have listened to you and Athrun, but that's beside the point. There, I dated this guy who was an overall terrible human being and Athrun started seeing this girl who was so nice that I couldn't really believe it when he said he didn't love her. Then I caught my boyfriend cheating on me and Athrun was there to comfort me afterwards and he kissed me and I didn't know what to do so I just left him and we didn't talk for months after that and that's when I decided to start my café on my own. I was more or less content with how my life was going but then I bumped into him and found out that he was getting married to a person he's never mentioned before and that caught me off guard and I told him I wasn't going to his wedding and then we didn't talk to each other again until Lacus and his other really nice ex-girlfriend came up to me and asked me to be part of their scheme to stop the wedding and I wasn't going to agree, but then I sort of had to agree after I found out that Athrun's fiancée had cheated on him with one of his friends—so I decided to help and I ended up becoming a bridesmaid and that's when I found out that the guy the fiancée cheated on Athrun with has been in love with her since forever and she had feelings for him too, so I distracted Athrun while they probably eloped elsewhere. Then I ran away to Heliopolis and hid in my father's house while Athrun dealt with the fallout of his broken engagement—and now I'm here."

I was breathing heavily by the time I was done with my monologue. Andy looked taken aback by my not-so-short discourse, and while I felt smug about rendering him speechless, there was another feeling entirely that was liberating. Having said it all at once had done me some good, at least.

"You forgot the last part where you called me and asked to meet me here," a voice quipped from behind me. "That makes for a good plot point, too."

I turned around and saw Athrun, in the flesh, just a few feet away from me. I hadn't noticed anyone else come in during my…_rant_, for lack of better term; and I flushed at the prospect that he had heard the entirety of it. That would mean that he _knew_ of Lacus's and Meyrin's initial involvement, of _everything_.

"To be fair," he started. "Your narrative differs from mine. If I were to put it all into words, I would have started from about a decade and a half ago."

"When we were children?"

"When I fell in love with you."

* * *

**Note:** I'm so sorry for the late update! Hopefully this chapter makes up for it? *hides from barrage of tomatoes*


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